You Be the Judge, or Not?


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Teaching my children and myself not to be judgemental is a very important life lesson going on in our house.  It makes me happy to say this because although all of us in our home are guilty of it sometimes, we are much more conscious of this act, which better enables us to remove it from our lives.

I find that similar to living with healthy eating habits, when you do it as a group it is easier to stick to this mind set.  You help remind each other of that choice that all of us have to be the person we want to be. 

At first, like so many things worth doing, it is difficult.  It can be almost second nature to judge.  Honestly, half the time I don’t even think I was conscious I was doing it.  Looking back that makes me sad, but the much more important thing is I know now that judging is not something I want to be doing.

My husband and I have this talk from time to time when we catch ourselves doing it.  Neither one of us wants our children to grow up with the attitude that judging is OK.  In fact, we are of the belief that while judging hurts others, it hurts ourselves far more and diminishes your spirit.  Having a healthy attitude towards others is a vital part of healthy living.

Evaluating others situations and whether or not their decisions are or would be right for you, or not, is completely fine.  How else can we determine what makes sense for us, or how to be the person we want to be?  There is a fine line where it crosses over into judging.  A line that if I am being honest is far too easy to cross, or miss all together.

Who am I to say what makes sense for another person, or what choice I would make unless I have lived that person’s life?  I have not lived anyone else’s life but my own, so I am in no position to judge.  That and the fact that I love myself enough not to want to harm me by doing it, or anyone else for that matter.

If I want my children to refrain from being judgemental I need to set that example.  I can’t simply tell them not to judge and expect that they won’t.  Even with young children I am already far enough along in my parenting journey to know well the little mirrors they hold up.  One of the biggest and most challenging blessings there is about being a parent.

You can look in the mirror and ignore what you see, or you can soak it in on the soul level and let it guide you.  The mind-body link is incredibly powerful, and by working hard for our family to have a healthy mindset and outlook I believe we are working towards making ourselves healthier all around.

When the going gets tough and life sends tests your way to make sure you are really learning the lesson, I don’t let it get me down for long.  I remind myself that I can do and be anything I want to be.  I know that I always have this power within me.  How incredible is that, really?!

The most rewarding part is the more you live this way, and refrain from judging others, the less you see of it in your life.  Sure, that test comes your way every once and while, but you consciously choose not to make judging and judgement a part of your life and it goes away.  I don’t know if your energy rubs off on those around you, or if you just stop giving weight to others’ judgement of you?  Maybe it’s both?  Either way, it is a peaceful way to live.  One that for us is worth every bit of effort.

I want my kids to have a peaceful mindset, to love themselves enough not to judge or look down on others.  That is my biggest motivation of all.  When I don’t want to pick up the mess, or fill the holes in the wall, I remind myself of the gift my children are giving me- the motivation to be the best person that I can be.  That motivation is incredibly precious!

I cannot control the choices they will make in their life, nor do I want to (at least when my heart and mind are in sync), but I can guide them.  Guiding them to be open-minded, peaceful and loving individuals, that is what I want for them, and for me!

This is why I choose to live and breathe love one moment at a time.

Speaking of breathing, who loves breathing in the fall air?



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