Our culture has created such hype about sex that it’s easy to try to make it more complicated than it is. Do yourself and your man a favor. Forget about the images you’ve seen in magazines, movies, television shows, and on the Internet. Sex is about the expression of love between you and your man; it’s not about living up to some media image. It’s about pleasing and enjoying each other.
It’s All About You
Relax. Great sex doesn’t require a perfect body or Hollywood hair. Release those images and expectations.
Get comfortable with your own body. If you’re not sure about how the female body works–sexually speaking–do some reading. While you’re at it, do a little reading on your man’s body. Information is power.
Take the lead. Women often expect men to be the sexual leaders, and sometimes it’s nice for the men to get a break from being the large-and-in-charge figure. You take over. Tell him that he’s your sex slave for the night; he probably won’t mind at all. You make the decisions. Tell him what to do and how to do it. Demand that he comply with what you want. You might be surprised by how he responds to this side of you.
How You Make Him Happy
Try something new and creative. Variety is important to your man. While women often thrive on what is comfortable and familiar, the same sex routine over and over can become sheer boredom for your man. So try something new. Get creative. Play around with new lingerie, a new sex game, a new position, or a different approach. You can role-play, talk out loud if you’re normally quiet, make up a storyline, meet him at the door in nothing but your raincoat, or send him a racy text message.
Provide visual stimulus. Two words to remember in order to make sex good for your man: variety and visual. We just covered the variety aspect; here’s the visual. Your man likes to see you looking sexy. You may not feel sexy, but get over it long enough to fix yourself up, put on some make-up, do your nails, and wear that lingerie that’s been hiding in the back of your closet. Hey, it doesn’t even have to be lingerie. Wear one of his button-up work shirts or a lace-fringed apron with nothing underneath it.
Be verbal. Talk to him. No, it doesn’t have to be dirty; but do incorporate some description, sexy commentary and encouraging words. Tell him what you love about his body, how you feel when you’re with him, and what you enjoy about your intimate times together. Brevity is fine; there’s no need for extended paragraphs or a dramatic monologue here. Just be honest and sincere. Throw the sarcasm and criticism out the window.
Watch his response. You’ll be able to tell what really delights him by the look on his face, the movements of his body and the sounds he makes. It’s not rocket science, just a give and take that will be your best tool for learning how to make your man happy in bed. Don’t stress over getting everything perfect; perfect is not the goal. Just keep trying new things and go with what he responds to, but don’t let it become a new rut. Remember: variety is key.
Enjoy the experience with him. An important part of making your man happy in bed is being happy yourself. Your man wants to know that he can make you swoon with pleasure. So help him learn how, even if it’s awkward at first. The more you communicate about sex, the easier it will become. As he learns what you respond to, you’ll also learn more about him, so you’ll both be enjoying a more fulfilling intimacy.