In today’s technological world many marriages suffer from a new form of unfaithfulness, online dating. Your husband could be glued to his computer for hours under the pretense of working while unbeknownst to you he’s actually meeting and dating other women. Some men cheat virtually, while others meet women online and follow through with actual relationships. So, how do you find out if your husband is doing online dating? Using a little cleverness and the following steps should reveal the truth.
Check his browser history. First, you need to know the password to his computer, if he uses one. If you don’t have his password ask him why he has it blocked–either he will tell you the password or you will know he is hiding something. Assuming you have his password, open his Internet browser. Once the browser is open, go to tools and options, typically at the top of the page. This will vary depending on the browser used. A website such as PCs-N-Dreams is a great resource for learning how each browser’s history is checked. (See References for link)
In the tools options you will find a history tab, which when clicked will show the most recent sites accessed. The number of sites it shows depends on how he has the computer set up.
Using the browsing history you can now look to see if there are any adult sites or dating services, such as eHarmony listed. If you find those, you have found your first clue that he might be participating in online dating. If a dating site is listed in the history, the next step will definitely give you the answers you are looking for. (See Resources for links)
Browse the online dating services found in Step 1 or any of the many dating services such as Match or eHarmony. You can usually browse the selections on these sites without having to sign up for an account. These sites typically have search tools that help you narrow down the type of person you are looking for. Use these tools to search for a man with the same qualities as your husband. If the search options include email, try searching using your husband’s email. If you find a man who appears to be your husband, try contacting him. This may mean setting up an account with the dating service. (See Resource link)
Create a false persona that you believe your husband would be attracted to. Use this to set up an account on several online dating services. In addition to the false persona, you will need to set up a free email at sites such as Yahoo! or AOL for respondents to send messages to. If you discovered anyone you think might be your husband in your search of the online dating sites, send him a message and wait for him to respond. If it is your husband you will know for certain then. (See Resources for links)
Sign up for social networking sites, such as Facebook. Search these networking sites for your husband. If he is using them he will have to accept you as his friend in order for you to see who he talks to online. If he doesn’t accept you as his friend you can ask him why. Facebook users can see a listing of friends of other people even if they aren’t part of their friend list by choosing “see friends” when the screen appears. This will at least let you see who he is friends with. (See Resources)
Purchase and install a computer monitoring program. This will only work if you are able to do it without your husband knowing you are installing a program on his computer. You can record keystrokes, emails and even chat history using one of these programs. The installations are simple and they offer support to help get you started. (See Resource links)
Ask your husband point blank if he is participating in online dating. You have the right to ask and the right to expect him to be man enough to own up to his deeds. If he isn’t cheating you need to be prepared to explain why you thought he was.