My Secrets to a Good Relationship

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Ever think your relationship isn’t like everybody else’s? Ever think- thank God for that? Lots of people ask David and I how we do it, and what our secret to passion and romance is. We laugh because we realize how picture perfect life can look from the outside, and how truly challenging it can be on the inside. Forget about passion, I’m proud of the fact that in Hollywood, we’re still hanging on, LOL!

It helps that David is smoking hot, and I am still undeniably attracted to him. In fact even more now than in the beginning. We’re passionate people and committed to not losing that no matter how many years pass by. There really isn’t a secret; relationships take work, and lots of it. We work hard to stay close and connected. We talk and we really listen. We make time for each other even though we are juggling work and 4 children. I still enjoy spending time with my man. I know so many married women who prefer to be without their husbands- I’m sure you know some. That scares me!

I loved reading the Secrets to a Happy Marriage article and all the Facebook and Twitter advice that was posted. Those words of wisdom are helpful and can be inspiring. I love reading other couples’ tips. There really isn’t a secret formula. I have learned a lot in the last decade about love, especially since I am one of the stats in the sad 50% divorce ratio. I definitely am no expert, but I know what doesn’t work and the dangers of not working on your relationship.

David and I were recently asked to share our secrets to a successful relationship for a video wish for the royal couple’s wedding tribute. Here’s our advice to anyone and what we’ve learned. By the way, we continue to learn every day. We get from each other what we put into our relationship. We’ve learned to be what we want from each other. That’s a HUGE commitment. It’s never perfect, but on most days it’s close enough. It’s fulfilling and satisfying and amazing. I am very lucky to be with someone that truly loves me. I am also so lucky to be with someone that I deeply love.

Assume nothing. We can’t read each other’s minds. We have to ask for what we want, need and desire.
Don’t hold things in. Speak up about what is bugging you. There is nothing more dangerous than a slow boil! Pet peeves don’t just go away.
Don’t be afraid to change things up, experiment, and add some spice. Lingerie doesn’t hurt.
Give each other room to be yourselves and accomplish your personal goals.
Be close enough friends to be free with each other.
Be compassionate
Give more than you receive
Pitch and catch
When you fall out of love, find a way to fall in again
Be nice!
Have great sex and lots of it.
Nurture your relationship as much as you do your children
Make yourselves as important as the kids
Never be too old to make out
Be a cheerleader sometimes, everyone needs one
Make time for date night! Just DO it!

Here’s what I think of when I think of a lasting relationship:
LOVE, Honesty, compassion, compromise, generosity, security, warmth, tenderness, spontaneity, creativity, chemistry, loyalty, commitment, confidence, acceptance, happiness, comfort, freedom, family.

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