A Mom’s Mind At Work

mominbed

I’m a mom. I’m a wife. I work full time…and like everyone, I have an awful lot on my mind all the time. It is really easy to get bitter and feel overwhelmed because I feel I am spread way too thin. Most days I feel like a chicken with my head cut off. It’s hard to explain all the things that I am thinking about at any given moment. My racing mind is a maze of thoughts, worries, and questions about everything ranging from kid problems to simple stuff like cleaning out the garage. There is really no time to slow down and my mind starts racing from the moment I wake up…

Is that my alarm? Shoot. How can it be time to get up already? I don’t even think I slept at all. I don’t want to get up. What is that sound? Is that someone crying? No, now I don’t hear it. I better get in the shower. Shit, I need to shave today. Do I have time to straighten my hair? I can’t forget to get the kids’ lunch money. Oh, did I sign that permission slip? I have to remember to do that when I get downstairs this morning. I can’t forget to grab that bill I need to call on at work today. Man, I am so tired. I just can’t get up.

What’s that? Who is screaming this time? What are they fighting about now? It’s too early to fight. They want granola bars for breakfast? Can’t they just be quiet and eat? Speaking of granola bars, I need to buy milk. Why do we go through so much milk? Oh, I also need peanut butter. I can’t forget that. Now what are they fighting about? The usual…who gets to use the computer first. Of course. At least there is no blood…yet. I should just get rid of the stupid computer in the office. All it does is cause fighting. That office. Why is it always such a disaster in there? It is full of toys, games, puzzle pieces, dolls, and food is everywhere. It is actually not even an office. It is a messy toy room with ants. I really need to go through that dumb closet and get rid of half the stuff and organize it. I saw this shelf thing on Pinterest I would like to try. I wonder if I can make it myself? I wish I was a Pinterest mom. I never come up with cute things for the kids or creative meal options. I’m a failure. Meals…dinner. What in the world am I going to make for dinner tonight? We have sports so it has to be quick. Why can’t I be more organized with dinner? Organize. That reminds me that I need to clean out the kids’ bedroom closets and drawers. The youngest keeps finding 2T pants. Way too small. I thought I got rid of all of them. Where do they keep coming from? And why do none of the socks have matches? Where do they go? How can I have 10 socks with no matches?

Agh…. Damn dog keeps running around the bedroom, he must have to go outside. I should really get up and let him out before he decides to pee on the floor. I’m just so tired…Speaking of animals, that litter box is so full. I can’t forget to clean that out tonight. We need dog food and he is due for his rabies vaccination. I better make that appointment. Appointments…shoot, the oldest is due for his 8-year checkup at the doctor. I guess I better make one for my annual as well. Ugh. I wonder when I can fit that in.

OMG! Stop yelling…why can’t they just get dressed and find something to do? Why all the screaming? Dressed…crap. It is blue shirt day today. I hope his blue shirt is clean. Crap. I left that laundry in the wash last night. Now it is going to smell. I’ll have to rewash that.

What day is it? Tuesday…Damn, it is conferences tonight. I hope I wrote down what time. I can’t remember if it is at 6:30 or 7:30…Let’s see, what else do I have to do today? Return emails, check voicemail, do the banking…I wish I had more money. Are we ever going to get ahead in life? Is this what life is?  Just working and paying bills until you die? What is the meaning of life? I wish we could go on vacation. Wouldn’t Disney World be awesome? Maybe someday. I wish I was better at saving money and more organized. How do other mom’s do it? Other mom’s plan vacations, stay home with their kids, and have a clean house. My house is such a shit hole. Damn it. I forgot to clean the shower again this weekend. One more week of showering in the scum. I should really get up. It is getting late. The kids need to get on the bus. Shit. I forgot I need to stop and get gas on the way in to the office. Why do I always wait till the last minute? Just five more minutes…I am so tired.

All that before I even get out of bed. I am already exhausted.

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