How to Maintain Your Social Life After Divorce

One of the most common challenges in divorce can be the loss of one's social network. Some friends and family are supportive, others have the best intentions (yet are unhelpful), and many seem to simply vanish from one's life. The loss of friends and family during this transition can add to the stress already being experienced. Many find the necessity to reach out and make new friends yet find the task daunting. Here are some helpful tips on how develop new friendships during separation, divorce and beyond:

1. Act Like A Host

Be kind, helpful and gracious when you reach out. Taking on this role can help ease feelings of nervousness when interacting with "strangers".

2. Be Friendly

Smile, and introduce yourself. Use open, welcoming body language. Make eye contact and maintain a comfortable distance, respecting personal space.

3. Make Them Feel Special from the Get Go

Think of your favorite person in this world. Odds are, you treat them with more care than others. Give strangers this same attention and you may discover that more people than usual will be open to meeting you.

4. Listen

Listening is one of the most important forms of communication and one of the best ways to get to know others.

5. Be Interested

Ask open ended questions to identify shared interests. When responding to questions, avoid short yes/no questions and offer explanations.

6. Be Real

The most meaningful friendships come from communicating authentically. Don't force something that isn't connecting. Let it happen naturally.

7. Stop Talking about Your Ex

Mention, if you are inclined, that you are going through a divorce, and leave it at that. Build a friendship on common interests and connection. Don't let your past infiltrate your future.

8. Make Plans

Suggest getting together as you are say goodbye (based on the common interests you discovered during your conversation). For example "Great meeting you, Ryan. Would you like to check out that art exhibit at the museum together next week?"

About the Authors

Andra Brosh, Ph.D. and Allison Pescosolido, M.A. are the leading divorce recovery experts in Los Angeles. Founders of Divorce Detox, a proven program guaranteed to speed recovery through the divorce transition, Andra and Allison are certified grief recovery experts, and both hold advanced degrees in the field of psychology. Friends for over 20 years, these dynamic women treat the trauma of divorce and see divorce as an opportunity for personal growth and a better life; they are changing the face of divorce in our society. Visit www.divorcedetox.com to learn more about their programs and cutting-edge work.

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