Random acts of kindness

The more we care for the happiness of others, the greater is our own sense of well being. ~ Dalai Lama

The other day I was browsing through You tube looking for some daily inspiration for my Rooted for life face book page http://www.facebook.com/pages/Santa-Monica-CA/ROOTED-FOR-LIFE/328759684898?ref=ts when I came across this video by Wayne dyer -http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ai0oXFKI-fM he reads out loud the shaya story from his amazing and one of my VERY favorite  books: Inspiration. (Click on the link and listen)

This story touched my heart!! The random act of kindness that was done by all for this little boy was beyond heart warming.

Today I witnessed in person another heart felt act. My best friends daughter asked me to come watch her in her very first horse show this morning. She was amazing out there!! They put her on a horse that was way too big for her but she gave it her all. In all 3 ribbon categories everyone got a ribbon but her (why they didn’t have one for her.. a whole other story that you don’t want me to get started on)

She came to the gate with her lips quivering, holding back tears when this angel of a woman came over to her and gave my friend’s daughter her 6^th place ribbon saying that they really tied and that she wanted to give the ribbon to her. The little girls face lit up with a huge proud smile as my best friend and I cried from the kindness demonstrated by this woman. I then walked up to this woman telling her that her kind gesture just changed this child’s life and how deeply it touched my and everyone’s around heart.

It doesn’t stop there.. After that, this an 11 year old girl came up to her and said lets go win you a 1^st place ribbon. This 11 year old took it upon herself to talk to the judges and put together a whole course and a new category for her that won her a blue ribbon.

We repeat what has been done to us. Can you imagine if we all treated one another with such kindness and thoughtfulness? I know there will be a day in my friends daughter’s life when she will see someone struggling and will remember this day and open her heart just as these people did for her today.

SOMETHING TO PONDER – What can you do today to make a difference n someone’s life? 

At some level or point in all our lives we have all gone thru or experienced some form of stress. Stress often manifests from an emotional, financial, mental or physical place.

It is natural to go through stressful situation or periods in our lives, but when you “ GET STUCK “ in the chronic state of stress your inner light begins to diminish.

Chronic stress disrupts every system in your body in turn leaving you more prone to sickness, anxiety and depression.

I LOVE and often ponder this quote by Michele meiche “ We attract what we vibrate at “. If this is the case being in a chronic state of stress brings and mirrors more of the same energy to you.

I remember reading a quote once that said - “ happiness is a choice “. The same goes for being stuck in stress. You have a choice to stay in this place or make a decision to take action and move forward.

 DO You choose to be free or stay a victim? – I have said this before in my other blogs, people only change, grow and move forward if and when they really want to and are ready. So are you ready to let go so you can accept life as it is? Are you ready to forgive and take responsibility for your actions and part in this?  If so, then read below for some tools to help clear the stress and move into a place of peace.

THE TOOLS –

Journaling – I am huge on journaling!! Journaling is a great tool to process, clear and move energy out of your head and body by getting it onto paper. Often times our stress is so much bigger in our heads and hard to make sense of it. Writing it out helps gain clarity on what’s really bothering us inside. I suggest a minimum of 10 minutes per day. Pick a time when you wont be interrupted, this is your time to process. When we are so busy and don’t have we don’t have an outlet to process and release, things will just build up inside creating an abundance of stress.

Seek support – Ask people that you admire, trust or respect for a good therapist, counselor, life coach or someone or something that resonates with you.

Create a support system of friends and family that support you with compassion, truth, love and non-judgment. These are your “ go to “ people. Read positive and inspirational books, take classes or go to self-help workshops or sign up for yoga or healing retreat. 

Meditate – For all you “ headie “ people out there, this is your key to peace!! In my practice I see so much stress caused by over thinking. The brain never shuts off in turn causing insomnia and mental exhaustion. A great CD I highly recommend to all my people is “meditations for everyday living “ by Michele meiche . What I like about this CD is each meditation is only 5 minutes long and will totally calm your thoughts and shift your energy. There are tons of meditation classes, books or CDs out there , research and find one that resonates with you . 

Breath work – Inhale thru your nose for 3 slow breaths the positive and exhale thru your mouth the negative. Inhale peace /exhale stress, inhale trust/ exhale control, inhale love /exhale fear, inhale joy /exhale sadness, inhale calm / exhale chaos and drama, inhale tranquility / exhale any worry or anxiety, inhale stillness / exhale turmoil, inhale relaxation / exhale tension and inhale clarity / exhale out of the mouth any confusion. This breath work helps to clear and move energy.

Parent your self – When a child is hungry a parent will feed them. When tired a parent will transition them down to sleep. When a child is having a bad day a parent will provide comfort and support for them. When a child is sick a parent will nurture and sooth them. To create structure and security, parents create routine, healthy boundaries and ritual that a child can count on for consistency, stability and balance. When a child has been over stimulated a parent will provide space to give them quiet time. When a child is going through change or something scares them a parent will comfort and give them a little extra love and support. This is a no brainer , this is just what parents do . Yet how many of us parent ourselves? I mean really take care and be there and show up for us? Start to tune into your needs, listen to your body if it needs rest then let rest, if you had a hard day , how can you be there for you ?  Nobody will ever be able to be there for you the way you will be able to be there for yourself. When you look for others to do this for you, you’ll never be satisfied.

 Find trust and have faith the in path – Your life is one big unfolding path. Every person you meet and situation that comes into your life provides an opportunity for growth and expansion. We stay stuck when we don’t find the gift with in the circumstances we are faced with. There is always something good that comes from something we might perceive as bad. You can move your energy by connecting with the gift that the lesson holds and learn , apply and begin live from this new found awareness . A fabulous book that I highly recommend – “ When things fall apart “ by pema chondron .

Do things that make you feel good and that nurture you  – When you do things that give you joy and spend time with up lifting happy people that you feel good around, this raises your vibration. Eat healthy, exercise, walk in nature, find a hobby,  curl up and read a good book , laugh and play…. What makes you happy and gives you joy ???    

“ Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of life’s longing for itself. They come through you but not from you. And though they are with you yet they do not belong to you…” Kahlil Gibran

Children come into this world with their own soul and life path, we are simply here to love and guide them on their journey as well as support, nurture and help them find their own authentic way of expression and being.

When we have not made peace with our selves, our childhood and wounds we tend to project and try to fix what was done or not done to us through our own children. Don’t put your wounds onto your children it isn’t theirs to take on, it’s yours to be healed and cleared by you.  This is expressed perfectly in Rabindranath’s quote, “Don’t limit a child to your own learning, for he was born in another time. “

We unconsciously repeat over and over , passing down through generation after generation the same story until one brave person from the tribe says , “ ENOUGH” I am going to do it different not only for me but for my children and the generations that follow. I am going to rip up my unhealthy roots and plant new ones that will create a healthy foundation to grow from.

We are at a crucial time, the state of the world is in crisis and it’s hands are in the future of our children. We must first heal our selves by becoming strong and solid in our own foundation. When we are not whole and grounded in our authentic selves we tend to look outside ourselves trying to fill the voids for what we lack from within. Once whole and complete we then can manifest and live from a place of truth instead of fear or lacking. No person, thing or child will ever be able to fix that wounded part of you … ONLY YOU CAN  .

Healing oneself doesn’t happen over night, It takes time, patience, consistency and a yearning to grow, heal and be liberated from the unhealthy patterns from the past . Here are some things you can do to begin your healing process . 

1-You must really want to change and grow – People will only change when they are really ready and truly want too. If there isn’t a deep desire to shift your energy and grow, all the therapy and self help books the world has to offer won’t work. I cant tell you how many people I have met that go to therapy or see healers because they think they should; but don’t listen, take advise or apply the tools they are given. So before you embark on this journey take the time to really reflect and ask yourself honestly, “ Am I open to healing, shifting, changing and growing? 

2-Clean it up!! – As I said before our children come into this world with their own soul and life path, we are here to love, guide and nurture them on their journey. In doing this we must hold the space for our children to evolve by being the best leaders and role models we can be. I always ask my clients, what are the most important things you hope for your children?  The top three responses are – Healthy, happy and to be loved. The next question I ask is, Are you a happy healthy and loved person? And are you living a happy and healthy life that is filled with love and self-love? If not then what steps can you take to have more of this in your life? Set the bar for your children to follow in by demonstrating what it is that you would like them to have in their life.

3-Therapy and Hypnotherapy – While in the healing phase of my life therapy helped me become aware of my basic issues as well as talk, process, understand and make sense of my past. Before you can truly heal you must first become aware of your past and be really honest with yourself about your wounds. After therapy there was still some un resolved energy I was carrying and living my life from. Hypnotherapy got me in touch with painful things that I had blocked out. I went even as far back into the womb and saw where the root of my major issues began.

4-Practice compassion and non judgment with your self while making changes – While making changes, often times we might find ourselves taking 2 steps forward and 1 step back into our old unhealthy ways of being. Change takes time, patients and consistency. It also is challenging to be in that uncomfortable place of the unknown. When the new way of being isn’t set in stone, we often go back to the unhealthy ways of operating from. Don’t self beat; this is part of the process!! You have been living from that familiar wounded place for a long time. I can promise you when you do go back it wont feel as good anymore. Once you make the changes you can never go fully back. If you find your self taking a step back, notice how it feels, see your growth and how far you have come then put your feet back on the ground and take two huge steps forward and don’t look back.

5.Healthy support like-minded people – The journey of self-healing can be a lonely road. This was a lifesaver for me when I was in my healing stage of my life. I had a core group of about 6 amazing friends going thru major healings as well, a few of them where further on their path then I was, I also had a trusted team of healers, yoga teachers and therapists supporting me. So go out there and gather your support team.

6-Inner child work – A must do for parents!! We all have inner children that live inside of us. It’s the repressed, shut down or wounded parts of us. Our inner children are between the ages of 3-9.This part of us can get stuffed down if something traumatic happened to you or you weren’t properly nurtured and cared for as a child. It’s important to reclaim and nurture and parent your own inner child so you don’t try and fix this part of you thru your children. There are many healers and therapists out there that specialize in this kind of work.

7-Read self help , healing and spiritual books – Start and end your day reading a few pages . This will set the pace and intention for the day and for your sleep at night . While sleeping our subconscious becomes alive .A hypno therapist once told be that whatever we do an hour before sleeping we take to bed with us.   By reading something healing , uplifting or inspiring before bed can help the  healing process while we sleep .