- At Home
Enlightenment. Don’t you wish that every morning you woke up to the sweet sounds of singing birds (or just silence), where you could spend fifteen, even five minutes looking inward and evaluating your choices? You know, reflecting on how yesterday’s meltdown could have been avoided.
When the day starts going pear-shaped, wouldn’t it be wondrous to have the presence of mind to actually stop and breathe, and keep yourself centered?
As mothers, we should pump the brakes and slow down; figure out how not to lose our mind at every turn. Let’s get real, how many of us do this? Whether you stay at home with your kids or not, we can all attest to having those days where your patience is M.I.A., and the only thing coming out of your mouth resembles a roar.
Do you ever find yourself wishing - after the day is done, when the kiddies are asleep (Hallelujah!) and the floor is mopped - that you could take some of it back? That perhaps you could have taken a more chilled out approach and remembered that nothing is really that big of a deal. But sadly, the patience we so desperately needed was no where to be found, and we are left feeling guilty.
Well, we have decided there's a way out! The path to parental enlightenment is Pinot Grigio in the summer and Cabernet Sauvignon in the winter. TADAA.
Ah, if only life was so simple. What you really need is a partner in crime. Batman has Robin, Oprah has Gayle, and Thelma had Louise. Who do you have? We're not referring to your husband here; we are talking about a friend or relative, someone who you spend time with; more importantly, someone you are truly authentic with, an individual who will call you out, who will help you become a better version of yourself.
As sisters who live within a two minute walk from each other, to say that we spend a lot of time together is quite an understatement (in fact, our husbands find it really annoying). We get front row seats to each other's bad parenting moments. We have come to depend (desperately) on each other. We call upon one another on those days when we are not functioning at our optimum level; when it is 10 am and we have already said “no” ninety-seven times; punted the Baby Einstein blocks and realized that our carb-loading, exhausted self is one hot mess. This is when you NEED a partner.
“It takes a village to raise a child”, as the African proverb says.
Well, no sh*t, Sherlock (as another familiar proverb goes), and yet most of us mothers are suffering alone at home. Saying you need help, a reprieve, a break from your child(ren) isn’t the end of the world. Your partner in mothering should be someone with the same values as you, someone whose children you like and who supports you. There is no room for competitiveness. Think about what you teach your kids: treat others as you want to be treated. Take that into this relationship. You help me out, I help you out. You take my kids so I can go to the grocery store alone, I’ll watch yours while you work out.
Cultivating meaningful relationships is a cornerstone to a contented life. While meditating may not be your scene, having a cohort should be. So get out there ladies, find someone to team up with and make yourself a better parent!