I’m a little concerned about my daughter’s extreme love for Barbie. I know what you’re thinking: this topic has been talked to death. That may be true but it hasn’t been talked to death by me and well, I have a column due, people.
My babies are already watching TV and they're only 16 months old.
I’d love to tell you it’s just a little Baby Einstein now and again but they are already hardcore watchers with an unfortunate affinity for The Wiggles.
When people hear that I have twins, one of the first questions I'm usually asked is, "Do you have family around to help you?"
The answer to that question is like one of the relationship status options on Facebook: It's complicated. Although my mother and stepfather live nearby, I haven't spoken to them since Elby turned two. My mom bought her only grandchild a tricycle at that birthday but she's never seen her ride it. Since Elby will be five in November, she’s long since grown out of the three-wheeler phase and now has a big girl bike she rides everywhere but her trike still resides in the garage waiting patiently for the twins.
Elby will be five on November 12th, which in case you weren’t aware is “only a few weeks away and a week is seven days - Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday - that’s a week!”
About three weeks ago I started going back to the gym - a place I used to go religiously until I got pregnant with twins. Yup, I’ve barely stepped foot into my place of worship in, oh, roughly two years.
The other day I was at Target (shocker!) browsing through an excellent selection of eight dollar tank tops. They were the extra long style which I happen to need since I am in possession of a serious muffin top, yet I insist on wearing low rise pants.
So I’ve been in the twins game now for about thirty-two months - thirty-two looong, crazy making, longing for Xanax months. I’ve experienced colic - twins with colic is not for the weak of heart, let me assure you. If you are pregnant with twins, I’d like to tell you that colic is livable, you will get through it, blah blah blah but I can’t. It wouldn’t be right to mislead you that way.
My five-year-old daughter is a poor sport.
She cheats at Trouble, Hi Ho Cherry-O, Chutes and Ladders, Go Fish and basically every game we play. I don’t know if cheating is the right word... well, yeah, it actually is.
Ever wondered what's it like inside the mind of a four-year-old? Here's a typical day:
4:30 a.m. Hmm…I’m half awake. It would be so much cozier in Mommy and Daddy’s bed - right smack between them where I can make my body seem almost twice as big, and Mommy and Daddy can pretty much kiss the rest of their sleep goodbye.
I’m always wondering why I torture myself with having a baby monitor for the twins. I've come close to ditching it many times.
