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Is it Okay to Send Shower Invitations to Out-of-Town Guests?
Q. Is it okay to send out-of-town guests invitations even though they won't be able to attend my shower? I would really like them to come if they are able, but don't want to put any pressure on them or make them feel obligated in any way. What's the right thing I should do?
A. I have always felt included or "a part of" when receiving invitations from relatives and friends. Yet I can see how receiving an invitation can have an air of trolling for bling, especially when one hasn't seen or heard from the other in quite some time. On the other hand, it is so amazingly heartwarming for me personally to have life-long friendships whether they are close or near and then to open the mail (or eco-friendly choice, email) and find an invitation waiting for me to attend a special celebration.
Come to think of it, I like to be included no matter what! In fact, if I were to receive an invitation, especially from a loved one, I'd be thrilled; especially if included in the invitation there was a special handwritten note from the guest of honor requesting my presence, but only if it wouldn't make it hard for me to travel. I would want the note to be clearly stated that this invitation is meant to extend an openness of love and inclusion, and by no means an obligation for travel or a gift. Yes, we don't want to send invitations only to be given gifts. I know, I know...some are groaning. I can hear it now. Right through that monitor. I hear you!!
But please read on, my friend . . .
The true meaning of gifts as described by Webster:
Anything given; anything voluntarily transferred by one person to another without compensation; a present; an offering.
A. I have always felt included or "a part of" when receiving invitations from relatives and friends. Yet I can see how receiving an invitation can have an air of trolling for bling, especially when one hasn't seen or heard from the other in quite some time. On the other hand, it is so amazingly heartwarming for me personally to have life-long friendships whether they are close or near and then to open the mail (or eco-friendly choice, email) and find an invitation waiting for me to attend a special celebration.
Come to think of it, I like to be included no matter what! In fact, if I were to receive an invitation, especially from a loved one, I'd be thrilled; especially if included in the invitation there was a special handwritten note from the guest of honor requesting my presence, but only if it wouldn't make it hard for me to travel. I would want the note to be clearly stated that this invitation is meant to extend an openness of love and inclusion, and by no means an obligation for travel or a gift. Yes, we don't want to send invitations only to be given gifts. I know, I know...some are groaning. I can hear it now. Right through that monitor. I hear you!!
But please read on, my friend . . .
The true meaning of gifts as described by Webster:
Anything given; anything voluntarily transferred by one person to another without compensation; a present; an offering.
Yes, it is in good taste to extend invitations to each out of town guest. Who knows? They may surprise you and show up! An alternative to physical travel would be the virtual baby shower which is held online. Each long-distance guest may participate in the event via the internet. There are hosting sites you can visit for more information. One I have referred hostesses to is Bonnie's webbabyshower. Her site is filled with the ability to play several games, upload photos, videos and have guests reply. Another I recommend is DivaDarlings.net, a social network where you can invite your guests, manage your RSVPs online, create a private group, upload photos, videos, and have guests chat along with the ability to socialize with other hostesses and receive great ideas for shower themes, games and gifts.
When the invitations go out, in no way should they appear as a troll for bling. They should be sent with the intention of love and the announcement of good news to be shared with family and friends near and far that a baby is on the way! Never ever invite anyone that you truly do not want to have at your shower. Ever. This is a Diva no-no. If this means to not invite Aunt Myrtle just because she's on your mother's second cousin's brother's side of the ex-in-law's family, then you have a right not to invite her if her presence would make you feel uncomfortable. This is your shower, your day, your place to be as relaxed as possible. You are carrying a baby inside and that baby has to come first.
Diva Tip: No matter what is decided, so long as you do it from your heart, you can not go wrong.
Happy Showering!
Susan "The Shower Diva"
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About the Author
Mom. Wife. Friend. Expert on baby and bridal showers. Creator and manufacturer of the original upscale baby and bridal shower games. Passionate. Honest. Open.
