- At Home
“But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that’s just fabulous.” –Carrie Bradshaw
I am on a very serious and personal journey to regain control of an active and healthy lifestyle. Somewhere along the way I just stopped caring about myself, after gaining 60 pounds with my first pregnancy 7 years ago, issues with my weight and body image have been never ending and a constant struggle that make me feel like shit! My goal is to look and feel like I did in my early 20’s pre-baby body and doing it the good old fashion way…Diet and Exercise! There isn’t a diet pill I haven’t tried or a crash diet I’ve attempted more than once. I am so sick of falling off the wagon and being the queen of excuses from not having time or a workout partner, it’s just all a bunch of bullshit…
Oh how the tables have turned and I am beginning to understand that we are our biggest enemy. I would look in the mirror and fixate on all the negative things about my body and wish for that miracle pill that will make me look like the old me minus all the hard work. Something finally clicked in my pea brain and I realized that there will never be an easy way to do this. I set a goal for myself with no time limit and no extra pressure if my results are super slow. My daughter Sofia has been my little motivator when she puts her arms round me to hug me and says with excitement in her voice, “Mom I can feel my fingers around your waist now!!!” Little gestures and comments from her are just the motivation I need to keep me focused and going strong. Not once has my weight been an issue for my husband or has he ever called me fat, that word that should really be banned from our vocabulary! It really does damage and hurt people even more so when there are trying so hard to change, it just makes you want to throw in the towel and say “Fuck it! I guess I’m always going to be this way and give up just because of what others think and say, but what is louder and more convincing is that inner voice (the real enemy) that has the most control over you!
My inner voice has become my biggest motivator and fan!!! My groove is officially back and it feels amazing to be the one in total control of my thoughts and body. I know all of my hard work will eventually pay off when shopping for swimwear becomes exciting and not terrifying. Old habits are very difficult to break and every day there is a struggle to find that extra push to get active when all you want to do is absolutely nothing after a long day. I love checking in on Facebook when I am working out, I feel a sense of accomplishment and almost duty to myself in hopes to inspire and help give that extra push to someone out there who is struggling with similar issues.
We get one chance to look and feel fabulous! This is one wagon with seatbelts because it’s going to be a very bumpy ride and if I happen to do fall off, my ass is getting right back on and work it even harder to reach my goal.