Coachella Mom Syndrome: Signs and Symptomsby Amy Weitman
Has your best friend at mommy group been more interested in listening to her iPod than stories about your child’s sleeping habits? Is she unusually sullen about this weekend’s plans? Developed a sudden penchant for cut off demin shorts paired with ankle booties?
If so, then she may be exhibiting signs of Coachella Mom Syndrome. Don’t worry; with time she will make a full recovery! I was infected 10 years ago and have since returned to normalcy (whatever that may be).
For those of you unfamiliar with the outbreak, the Coachella Valley Music and Arts festival is held in Palm Springs, California in early April. Musicians, tastemakers and fans from across the world gather on large polo fields to watch hundreds of acts perform.
But once the festivities end, Coachella Moms will need your support!
The following can help identify and help:
1. Refusal to remove wristband.
These plastic wristbands were her tickets for the weekend festivities. They might be general admission, VIP or All- Access. The longer she is seen wearing the wrist pile the longer the signs and symptoms will prevail. Urge her to remove them ASAP! Suggest she wear a set of nice silver or gold bangles instead.
2. Unusual tan.
Despite cold temperatures during the first weekend - be sure that she still soaked up any and all available sun. During both weekends, the Coachella Mom was at the pool before and after sets. Whatever you do, don’t remark when you notice the tan has faded!
3. Altered fashion sense.
Is she wearing a floppy hat? Has she started sporting braids or floral garlands? In addition to her favorite denim shorts, a maxi dress may be suddenly incorporated into her wardrobe. Does her style suddenly remind you of a modern day Stevie Nicks? These symptoms will naturally subside by the end of summer.
4. New faith.
Watching Tupac come back to life on stage may have significantly changed or altered her spiritual sense. The dead will rise! Any talk of resurrection can be explained by her encounter with the ghostly hologram.
5. Updated Playlist.
To the dismay of her youngest children, her Radio Disney preset will be replaced by a new playlist including: Azealia Banks, Swedish House Mafia, The Black Keys and Buzzcocks. Her daughter’s plea for One Direction will be ignored. Be patient. It may be best for everyone involved.
You can offer condolences to a Coachella Mom. She is grieving. Her days in the sun, so to speak, have ended. In time her symptoms will fade. If her gloomy demeanor continues, remind her that there is always next year, and dates for the 2013 festival will be announced soon!