End the Mommy Wars

mommywars

I love reading. I’ll read anything. Cheesy romance novels, NY Times Best Seller list, magazines, blogs, I even read the side panel of my tampon boxes.

As a mom to three young children, I don’t always have the time to read lengthy novels, so I spend my sporadic free time reading mommy blogs. There are so many good ones out there, *cough-present-one-included-cough* with such great content. I have one serious issue with some of the sites, however, and it really pisses me off. Articles such as, “Why I Don’t Give My Kids Screen Time” or “Three Reasons We Only Eat Organic” even “I Co-Sleep and You Should Too” replace the issue with whatever topic is hot (hello vaccine wars), and it’s out there.

Their judgement isn’t even hiding. These writers aren’t going to try to be polite while they publicly give you the once over and scoff. They perpetuate the mommy wars, and fuel the fire.

Sure, I’ve seen the “Can’t we (moms) all get along?!” posts (including the superficial Similac ad, yes, AD!), but they are annoyingly saccharin and fake. When did parenthood become so competitive? Just once, I’d like to see, “Why I Don’t Give a F*ck How You Raise Your Kids, Just Try to Teach Them to Be Kind, Hard Working Individuals.” Unless people really think it’s okay to have mean, lazy kids… Then that might rub them the wrong way. Hey, you can’t please everyone.

I have four brothers, and growing up, I always longed to have a sister; someone to share my ups and downs with, in the most loving and unconditional way. I always pictured that’s what my motherhood friends would be like. How did I get it so wrong? I knew I was really off base when one of the ladies in the Mommy & Me playgroup yelled at me for letting my baby eat Cheerios (they are really high in sodium, fyi, in case you were wondering). Another lady scolded me for not getting the flu shot when I was pregnant. Needless to say, these are not the friends I had in mind.

Can you imagine if we did these things in other aspects of our life? Parenting is actually really individual and personal, much like…oh, I don’t know…sex. Would you ever read an article titled, “Why I Won’t Get on Top” or “Three Reasons I Let My Husband Keep Porn on During the Deed” or even, “I Have an Open Marriage, and You Should Too.”

Wait, those are actually pretty cool titles. I probably would read those. But I digress. My point is, if we know enough to filter our comments, verbal or written, on topics that we deem private, when are we going to learn that parenting falls in that category too?

I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of all the soap-box judgement on parenting. You may even think that THIS article is judgmental, too. It probably is. All I want to say is this: I don’t care if you eat kale all day long, or give your kids unlimited screen time. I don’t care if you co-sleep, or if you breast feed. All I know is this: we’re all doing the best we can, and you are doing a great job, mom.

For more articles from Jacqui, please visit www.mrsmuffintop.com 

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