Wait ’till Your Dad Gets Home


When I read the title of the Modern Mom article ‘10 Things You Swore You’d Never Say’ I instantly chuckled and couldn’t wait to read it. The previous day I was having this exact same conversation with my best friend, we had a good laugh discussing all the ‘things’ we said we wouldn’t do or we wouldn’t say when we had children.

And the list was long.

We were naïve because as a parent you really can’t predict what you would do or say until you are a parent. Literally you have no idea. Parenting is a fierce game of volleyball, whatever is served in your lap is what you deal with at the time. What a fool I was to even think that I could predict what I would do in any given parenting circumstance. Unless I experienced that event (a Lego up a nose, an explosive diaper, a screaming toddler at the supermarket) there is no way I could predict how I would react or manage any parenting situation.

Man do I have to apologize to a lot of parents I judged – as a disclaimer, my judgment passed were well before the thought of procreating even crossed my mind. What was I thinking?

To the Mom in mini-van whose little boy was eating crackers in his car seat whom I passed and snidely commented “I’ll never let my children eat in the car” – I’m sorry for raising my nose in the air – my kids eat in my car a lot. And it’s a mess. And I am so very sorry.

To the Dad who I heard mumble under his breath to his little girl ‘You have to stop crying, stop it!” as she was crying incessantly because she couldn’t have that toy in Target“– I’m sorry for judging you, as a parent I have rolled my eyes and mumbled ‘stop crying’ under my breathe to my children more times than I can count. And yanked several toys from their clutches at Target.

To the Mom who screamed at the top her lungs to her children at the park “Wait till your Dad gets home” – I’m sorry for rolling my eyes at you and whispering under my breath as I pushed my 6 month old in an infant swing – “I’ll never say that to you I promise … you’re my little angel, aren’t you?”

And to my mom, I am sorry for thinking that I would never say or do any of things that you did as a mom. What was I thinking? I realize now what a damn terrific mom you are, and I thank you for not only being an amazing mom but for providing me with the best line of my mommy-hood: “I brought you into this world and I can take you out” – which I feel like I use on a daily basis.



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