If distance truly makes the heart grow fonder, I am in for the love
affair of a lifetime. David has been gone in Africa for the past 5 weeks. He’s doing a French reality show and it was an offer he couldn’t refuse. I have been discrete about him being gone for obvious safety reasons. But now that I am on my way to Africa with the kids to join him, I have to
share… Soon the world will know and our reunion will be televised, so
there goes my privacy…! By the way, my South African trip is 35 hrs. What possessed me to take the trip, is coming soon.
I am happy that I can finally open up about David being away from our
family because the past month has been an incredible learning
experience for me. When in life does anyone get a break, a soulful
retreat from their significant other, (for 2 months) without calling
it a separation or mid life crisis?!? This opportunity for David was
for work, but it has turned into so much more.
Let me start by saying that we have never been apart, with the
exception of a film he shot in Morocco when I was pregnant with Rain.
He is a TOTAL hands-on dad and none of us knew how we would survive
without him. I remember back in February, fessing up to my
girlfriends that I was filled with fear and imagined I would cry every
day he was gone. They smiled, reassured me, encouraged me to support
him, and promised that I would be fine…. Funny because I have always
been the woman that could and WOULD survive if dropped into the jungle
with a nap sack, a whim and a prayer. I have always been self
sufficient, and capable of almost anything. BUT, when it comes to
love, I am my most vulnerable and quite dependent. David would beg to
differ, but in my mind, I need him more than he knows.
Life Without David…
So off he went, and there I stood not knowing what the hell I was
going to do with myself! I started my show, She’s Got the Look, which
lasted 3 weeks and on most days I worked 12-15 hrs. I worked on a few
other gigs, buried myself in Modern Mom, and of course was consumed on
a full time basis with my four kids. They are my full time job, in
addition to my many other FULL time jobs!
Much to my surprise, time was flying by and what little I had to
spare, I began writing, working out more, and actually taking some
moments by myself to think, reflect, and check in. I must confess,
none of that is easy when your man is around. I took my first EVER
girlfriend/metime trip, super valuable for any woman! My biggest
realization is that I have never constructively been alone and I am
much stronger than I thought. I can still love deeply and be fine on
my own. Although I have missed David terribly, the time apart has
been really positive.
We’ve been writing love letters, which I highly recommend. It’s not
only romantic, but also its different to write your feelings and to
read someone else’s, than to have the day-to-day conversations. What we’ve realized as a couple and I feel very fortunate to have
experienced (it is only because we are living across the world from
one another) are the little things we took for granted and the little
things we never took advantage of.
What I Miss Most
Imagine if suddenly your partner was gone. No dinners together, no
chance to enjoy that first cup of coffee (not that we ever do!), no
kiss goodnight, no sweet “good morning” to start your day, no one to
be your first call to share great news, or catch you during the bad
news…. Sounds corny, but I actually miss all those things, and I
totally took them for granted.
Human nature can be a greedy, ungrateful thing! I’m on my way to
Africa now, and I have to say that I cannot wait for that kiss that I
stopped looking forward to.. Ooops, let me clarify that – I always
love the kiss, but what was lost was the habit. I know I will sleep
curled up under his arm instead of on my side of the bed, and I will
listen intently to his experiences and share some of my feelings that
are not usually expressed. I actually have those first 3 month
butterflies. What an amazing feeling!!!!
Isn’t it funny…
Funny how life sometimes has a way of taking away the things we take
for granted. Fortunately for me, it is only temporary. What a gift my nightmare turned out to be. It goes back to what I blogged about a few days ago. Change your point of view and try to embrace even the most difficult situation. You never know what you might learn.