With all the recent cheating celebrity dad drama, our office was buzzing on what to do if we were to ever get into a situation like that. Some of us said it would depend on the situation, but some were very clear we would leave immediately. So we went to you readers and asked — if your man cheated would you leave or would you stay and try to work it out? Though we expected the answers to vary, we were shocked that so many of them were so black and white! Here’s what you said:
Some of you said you would stay and work on the relationship, and for the kids:
Marykate Ficca Menapace: “For better or worse in good times AND bad, if there are children and it wasn’t a Jessie james or Tiger Woods type of thing the point of marriage is to work through the tough stuff and become stronger for it. Otherwise why do you get married if you only want perfection? Humans make mistakes, to err is human to forgive is divine.”
Jennifer Harvey: “Cheating for men is usually just about a sexual experience. Cheating for women is more emotional. Of course it hurts to be the one cheated on, but if he cheats….at least it is not because he has fallen in love with someone else. I would try to make it work. There is always forgiveness, not forgetfulness, but I believe that when you love somebody, you try to make it work. Tricky question, until you have been placed in that position, you don’t really know what you’d do…
Fluer De Lis Creation: “Maybe if he cheated once you can forgive him and work it out. If he does it over and over again I think your dumb enough not to leave.”
Linda Conte: “I hate to say it, but i would stay. we have a child. and i could totally make his life worse by making him make it up to me for the rest of his life. you cant put a price on that.”
Is it not as bad if he only cheats once? Some of you definitely thought that and said if it was not a “Tiger” sort of incident, you may tolerate more.
Hazel Velez: “It depends how many times but I’m always up for working out for the sake of the children.”
Tanya Mendoza: “I wouldn’t look at my children to solve this struggle.. Honestly its between the husband and wife.. If he does it once he’ll do it again.. Maybe one day he won’t be your husband, but he’s always going to be the kids father.. So that wouldn’t influence my decision at all..”
Caroline Nowotny-Mackinnon: “Depends. We are human and making mistakes is inevitable. Don’t want to get burned every know and then? Don’t open your heart to someone else. I would leave if I had any doubts that he was really sorry.. then I would make him sorry, lol!”
Many of you were very strong on this, and would leave or have actually already been in the situation and left! Shocking!
Amanda Curtis: “I’d definitely leave. If he’s going to cheat once then theres nothing stopping him from doing it again. All the trust is gone once someone in the relationship/marriage cheats. If you try to make it work having children, most of the time it doesnt work and then the children are the ones who suffer.”
Joan Villapaz Jaroda: “If it will happen i will leave, i cant trust him anymore, i can forgive but I will never forget.”
Stephanie Ledrich: “Definitely leave….I’m a firm believer in once a cheater always a cheater…plus why put your kids in that situation of dealing with the i dont know what the word im looking for is but the tense feelings and distance that you know you and your partner would have while trying to work it out….b/c you know that the insecurity would always be an issue…”
Jamie Salman: “Definitely leave. He/She will do it again. Just because you forgive the first time you are allowing for the second time to happen.”
What the Experts Say:
Should you leave or should you stay. These tips might help:
1. Dr. Phil has said something more than once that I agree with 100% … “the best indicator of future behavior is past behavior”. So, if he’s cheated before he’ll more than likely cheat again. Dump him.
2.Is this the first time that he’s ever cheated on you? If so, then maybe you can work things out.
3. He really needs to understand what trauma and emotional pain he’s put you through and is truly sorry for that. He needs to be willing to let you do whatever is required for you to gain trust in him again.
4.If he is arrogant in the least or uncooperative in the least I would tell him to leave.
5. You should be able to stand on your own two feet from a financial perspective even from the beginning of a relationship.
6. Feel good about yourself — don’t get into the rut of feeling you aren’t too good for a cheater. Don’t stay just because you don’t feel like you can get better.
Get more tips below!