After Tuesday night’s shocking elimination and saying goodbye to lovely Brandy, there was sadness in the Ballroom. I could feel her painful tears inside my own body and that energy stayed with me for a while. It wasn’t so much about her leaving, it was more about the pain of not being able to experience that winning feeling. So many people are going through that right now and I do not mean on the dance floor. These are challenging times and many people are losing every day. That desperate hope for one “WIN” seems to be affecting people in a much deeper way. When there are periods of little success, it can be dangerously deflating. I have been there in my industry and it’s tough. Fortunately, I have always had my family to fall back on, support me, and keep me focused on what matters most. What’s happening in my life now makes me appreciate those times because they gave me a perspective of where I am today. My heart ached for Brandy that night as we stood together on stage and she had “no words” to express her disappointment. I wanted her to feel that winning feeling, and I was so sad for her to not have that chance.
On the car ride home, my 3 year old Rain warmed my heart with her tenderness. She is an incredibly aware and kind little girl. We spoke about Brandy’s tears, and Rain asked many questions about why she was sad. To the best of my ability I explained the process and the unfortunate news that there can only be one winner. I tried to share the possibility that there are many other ways to “win”. Then she said ….
“You know mommy, you could give Brandy your Mirror Ball trophy, then she could be happy.” I thought that was so sweet, perceptive and kind of Rain. But it also made me think of the symbolism of the trophy, why the dancers fight so hard for it and what it really means. Is it really about winning? Is it about self-accomplishment? Is it about beating the others? Is it about doing the impossible? Is it about making it to the finish line? It made me ask myself, why do we do and want the things we want?
When I competed, it was about taking it moment by moment. I have never been a competitive person, so it wasn’t until mid-way through the competition that I began to put that Mirror Ball Trophy in site. I wanted to win, because I believed that we could. I wanted to show my daughters that there is a pay off for hard work and dedication. I wanted to win because I had never won anything in my life before. I also, on a very personal level, needed to give it my all and see it through as long as America would have me, because I needed that sense of accomplishment.
After many conversations with Brandy, I grew very fond of her, and I wanted her to feel that too.
If only we could see things as simply as a 3-year-old child does. If only we could just give people what they need to make them happy. Too bad the world doesn’t work that way. I know there are many lessons to be learned on a show like Dancing With The Stars. I hope that everyone takes away many positive memories and finds their own life lessons to grow from. As I see it, everyone who has made it to the finals, deserves to be there and has already won in different ways.
If there were not change, there would be no butterflies…