The Secret to a Good Marriage
3 mins read

The Secret to a Good Marriage

I love a sappy wedding! A reason to dance, cry, and raise my glass to wish love and success on a new couple beginning life’s journey together.


Last week David and I spent the Thanksgiving holiday in Connecticut to attend my cousin Sean’s wedding. Sitting to my right at the reception table was a 70-year-old couple. During one of the many toasts, the husband leaned over and shared that he and his wife were celebrating their 51st wedding anniversary. And they were together 6 years prior to that. 56 years!!!!! Of course I had to ask them what their secret is to a lasting, successful marriage. And yes, they did look happy! The gentleman pondered my question and giggled, “we don’t communicate.” Oh no I thought, that has been my biggest challenge and effort to keep my relationships going, with David, the kids and professionally. “Come on,” I pleaded, “What is the secret?”

Then he replied, “We face our problems, we do not run from them.”

That made so much sense to me on many levels. And the lack of communication was only a joke!

Then the DJ asked all lovers to join on the dance floor. He called out the number of years each couple had been together, and couple by couple they were asked to leave the floor. The people married for the longest time remained last. Of course, my table had the longest marriage of 51 years. There they danced for all to see. David and I exchanged a look, and I knew we were both hoping that we too could be that couple one day, left on the floor to celebrate our love when maybe our own grandchildren would be tying the knot.

There were many tender moments throughout the evening. David and I listened as the father of the groom told the story of his daughter’s journey before she became Mrs. Burke. I fantasized about what I would say about my daughters at their wedding, and I found myself guilty of what many of us parents are. I wondered if anyone will ever be good enough for my daughters. Terrible I know, but so true. What will it feel like one day, when some young man knocks on my door? What will it feel like mending the many broken hearts that will hurt before they find the “right” one? What will their father feel like when they fall in love with another man? Crazy thoughts filled my head. What a special day it was for Leah and Sean Burke, they looked so happy, content, and blessed. It was a gorgeous wedding, a perfect day. 

The priest said…. “ I hope that this is not your greatest day, because then it would be all downhill from here.” The audience smiled.

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