There, I said it!

Up until recently, I was thoroughly convinced that my kids were the most perfect, well-behaved twins on the planet. At 5 1/2 months, I considered myself one of the luckiest moms ever!

I mean… they are perfect, and I love them to death, but sometimes they make me want to pull my hair out, which doesn’t seem like such a bad idea, especially when I find little gray hairs in Elsa’s grasp every now and then. I know they didn’t come from the dog (black), or my husband, Pete (shaved head).

But, what is it with this incessant whining lately? I was hoping to avoid pacifiers at all costs but with twins, it was next to impossible at the beginning.

Elsa, bless her little heart, took the pacifier early on but won’t touch the thing with a 10-foot pole now. If she does get a little crabby at bedtime, she’ll fuss and cry, then *boom*, she’s asleep.

While James is not addicted to food, humor me and check out the following (Dr. Oz’s 5 signs you’re a food addict):

1. You hide food in your car, home or office.
   James tends to "lose" his pacifier behind his back, stash it up by his neck, or sometimes tosses it into random places on the floor throwing his parents into a frantic pacifier recovery mission at odd hours of the night.
2. You think about food more than 1 hour a day.
   Self-explanatory.
3. You eat after arguing with your spouse or a friend.
   It’s not uncommon for James to scream and cry for his pacifier after playing with his sister. I’m really hoping this isn’t a sign of things to come. He’s got a huge job ahead of him, protecting her!
4. You experience withdrawal symptoms when you are not eating.
   Withdrawal symptoms include, screaming (not unlike a large bird, which reverberates throughout the entire house), thrashing around in protest, and talking incessantly about absolutely nothing – "oooo, mmmm, ahhhhh".
5. You can’t stop eating even when you’re not hungry.
   James always starts his bedtime out with a pacifier. And, while he’s a pro at pulling it out of his mouth, he isn’t quite adept at putting the pacifier back in yet. So, he screams and complains until Mom or Dad shows up to help. When we arrive, we offer it up (enabling, I know) and he greets us with a grin. Yet, more often than not, I’ll find him pacifier-less in the morning, sleeping away like a baby.

I love you James, but don’t you think it’s time for rehab?