I’m a late bloomer.
I started my design career at 30, got married at 43, and became a mother at 50. Do I have regrets? I’d like to say, “Of course not! I’ve got it together, I have my baby, and life unfolds as it should.” But that answer would be a fraud. The truth is, yes, I have regrets. I waited too long to get pregnant, I spent a fortune, I’m really, really tired, and I feel old. But do I regret being the mother of this little soul? Not for anything. He is the baby for me and I’m the mama for him.
Even at 43, when my husband and I started trying for a family, I naively assumed having sex = having a baby. I was righteous about fertility drugs and donors: “Forget it. That’s manipulating nature.” It turns out I can’t control everything. I can be counted among the one in six couples who have challenges in conceiving. We were heartbroken, yet determined. I shifted my ideas from manipulation to creativity and opened my heart to new possibilities.
Years of shots, ultrasounds, miscarriages, and disappointment followed. And then … Craig’s List. Yes. There we found a surrogate. It was a weird and wacky way to receive our baby … but we have our baby. He is beauty, he is joy, and he is family. We’ll share our story with him naturally and simply. He was created with fierce love, commitment, and imagination. His name means strength. The journey of creating a family is unique to everyone, but the experience of being a parent is almost universally a love story. Much love to our fertility doctor, surrogate, and midwife!
About the Author
Carrie McCarthy is the founder and co-author of Style Statement: Live by Your Own Design (www.stylestatement.com), Style Statement is a tool for making powerful choices that inspire the spirit, look and feel of your life.