After reading “20 Things I Wish I Knew Before I Had Children,” on ModernMom earlier this week, I was inspired to share some wisdom of my own.
I grew up in Southern California. It was a great place to enjoy childhood, what with easy access to beaches, practically year round sunshine and Disneyland. I have tons of great memories of visiting Disneyland starting when I was five (when, much to my parents horror, I apparently spent most of my time pointing at costumed characters and other features and declaring them fake) and up through when I left for college. I remember often asking to go to Disneyland when I was little and my mom (and other moms) answering that it was a little too far away for more than an annual visit.
Dear Friends, I want to thank you all so much for your support during this transition in my family’s life. Whether I left, he left or we agreed to part ways, this is a difficult time. I really appreciate how you all stood by me in the early days and weeks. Your calls, texts and emails- even if they went unanswered, really meant a lot to me and helped smooth the way. It was so nice to know I was being thought of.
Why full custody isn’t always a full win… There’s rarely a significant upside to divorce in a situation such as mine. Sure, there were years of ups and downs, the occasional door slamming and name-calling fights, and questions answered from the other in silence. But there were plenty of good times too, even in very recent memory, before he suddenly flew the coop. As the co-creators of two very challenging young boys, I did see a faint light at the end of the divorce tunnel: shared custody. While I’d not asked for nor been consulted on our divorce, I did have a sudden vision of two free weekends a month, school breaks where I could actually take a vacation that didn’t involve wiping an offspring’s backside, alternating holidays I don’t care for anyway – like Thanksgiving and New Year’s Eve.
There’s a real epidemic sweeping our country. It affects women exclusively of (or over) child-bearing age, and cuts across socio-economic lines and races. I’ve only experienced it in the United States, but my guess is that it’s really a worldwide problem. No need to check Snopes.com, this is a true issue, not an online hoax: nostalgic amnesia.