Girlfriend Moms Kid: “Were you in any movies, like the ones you see in the movie theater?” Girlfriend Mom: “Uh…”

Last week was Grandparent’s Day at my nephew’s school. Unfortunately my parents were out of town, so my sister-in-law asked me if I would step in. My nephew is also my godson, and I see him so rarely, I couldn’t possibly say no.

My boyfriend and I just completed building a house and we’re now decorating it. The following is a popular and frequent exchange, occurring several times a day: HIM: “How can you not like that?” ME: “Because it’s ugly.” Fade out.

My boyfriend and I went to a prom photo shoot at his daughter’s friend’s house. I’d never seen anything like it. Then again, I’ve never seen anything related to a prom because I didn’t go to mine. And before anyone thinks that no one asked me, hush up. I was dating someone at the time but I didn’t want to go. Corsages make my wrists look fat.

I went to see Hangover: Part Deux over the holiday weekend with my boyfriend and his son. It’s rated R. I have a problem with taking a twelve year old to see R-rated movies. I can see that my objections might sound a wee prudish but isn’t there plenty of time for kids to be exposed to boobies, and tushies, and hearing cussing like, “Fuck that shit man. You’re an a-hole.” Or sexually explicit language like, “He took it up the ass and loved it.