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You are here: Home / Archives for Dani Alpert

About Dani Alpert

Dani’s first headshot was her mugshot taken after getting arrested for tagging in the New York suburban town where she grew up and she’s been trying to reclaim those glory days ever since. Her writing appears in numerous outlets including, Huff Post, Blogher, ModernMom, Stepmom Magazine, SheWrites, Sexpert, Babble, and The Hollywood Journal. Her memoir, The Girlfriend Mom, is about her DIY approach to maintaining her bond with the children of her longtime (now) ex-boyfriend. She’s spoken at lifestyle conferences and interviewed on nationally syndicated radio shows for being the Girlfriend Mom. She boasts placing second in her age bracket in the 2014 US National Pole Championships. Pictures provided upon request. www.danialpert.com

A Cautionary Tale: When My Mother Let My Boyfriend Sleep Over When I Was A Teen

July 17, 2017 by Dani Alpert Leave a Comment

A Cautionary Tale: When My Mother Let My Boyfriend Sleep Over When I Was A Teen

Would you let your 17 or 18, or 19-year old daughter, and her boyfriend, share a bed if he slept over your house? Let’s back up – would you ever even let your daughters boyfriend sleep over your house?

Filed Under: Relationships, Tweens and Teens

Bad Bedside Manner: Why Background Checks Are Important

July 7, 2016 by Dani Alpert Leave a Comment

Bad Bedside Manner: Why Background Checks Are Important

I had to have dermatological surgery last week. I’m okay; it’s just another mole gone rogue. When my (new) dermatologist referred me to a particular surgeon, I didn’t question the recommendation. Come to think of it, I didn’t do much of a background check on my new dermatologist either, because she was in my insurance network.

Filed Under: Living Healthy

Don’t Let The Ex-Wife Tell You That You’re Not Family

July 15, 2015 by Dani Alpert Leave a Comment

Don’t Let The Ex-Wife Tell You That You’re Not Family

I need to take a moment and give pseudonyms to those that I am constantly writing and ranting about. From now on my boyfriend will be called, Reny (short for Renaldo), his daughter is Laura, and son is Luke. Yes, that was done intentionally and yes, I think its hysterical. Move on.

Filed Under: Relationships

My Terrifying Journey on J-Date… Oy!

December 14, 2014 by Dani Alpert Leave a Comment

My Terrifying Journey on J-Date… Oy!

These are some actual J-Date e-mails that I received when I was on the site, looking for a man. To amuse myself, I commented on the e-mails (but I never sent them). I also never found a man – but when you read the gems below, it won’t be hard to see why. Clearly, I thought that Id want to use these one day.

Filed Under: Relationships

Where Have All The Dreidels Gone?

December 4, 2014 by Dani Alpert Leave a Comment

Where Have All The Dreidels Gone?

In honor of Chanukah, Im re-posting this adorable tale from last year with some updates. I know it borders on lazy, but Ive got latkes to make and gelt to buy. And its not like anything has changed. Its as timely now as it was 12 months ago. Sad. But true. LChaim.

Filed Under: Hanukah, Holidays

What Kind of Mom Would I Have Been?

May 9, 2013 by Dani Alpert Leave a Comment

What Kind of Mom Would I Have Been?

I find it frighteningly easy to slip into a world of complacency, lounging on my divan (thats couch to you and me), contemplating my navel, lost in thought, or knee-deep in my very important, life saving work, with all of my projects, deadlines, and Skype calls to my best friend who has to remind me how complacent Ive become. Thank you, Clementine. Youre the best.

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Do You Speak Blended Family Shorthand?

April 1, 2013 by Dani Alpert Leave a Comment

Do You Speak Blended Family Shorthand?

I will admit that it was only recently that I learned what LMFAO stood for.

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Judy Blume Taught Me About Sex

February 13, 2013 by Dani Alpert Leave a Comment

Judy Blume Taught Me About Sex

I was up early to meet my Pilates client on the upper east side. I hopped on the 6 train, and just for the record, getting on the subway during the morning rush hour is like taking part in the running of the bulls. You can easily get gorged in the behind if youre not careful.

Filed Under: Relationships

Could Your Kids Pee in the Woods if They Had To?

January 18, 2013 by Dani Alpert Leave a Comment

Could Your Kids Pee in the Woods if They Had To?

I was listening to some parenting expert the other day (and really, arent all parents experts?), and the woman was commenting on how kids dont know how to be bored. If they ARE bored, they dont know how to entertain themselves without the use of technology. I loved this scene from Judd Apatow’s “This is 40″… Debbie: We have decided to cut back on all of the electronics we use. Sadie: What?

Filed Under: Around The House

The Truth About Orgasms

January 5, 2013 by Dani Alpert Leave a Comment

The Truth About Orgasms

What’s the difference between vaginal and clitoral orgasms? Is there even a difference? The answers may surprise you. Let’s start this somewhat sensitive discussion with a brief anatomy lesson:

Filed Under: Uncategorized

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