I had a really special weekend. I decided to take some “chill” time and do nothing. Some may call it lockdown, but that term has never been more needed in my hectic life. It wasn’t escape that was in order for me, but actually some good old-fashioned downtime, and there truly is no place like home.
Friday night I had a date with my 3 yr old daughter. She never ceases to amaze me. She is sensitive, loving, compassionate, and tender. All those qualities are in addition to being a blast to be around, which makes for one heck of a date! I spent Saturday with my two little ones and David’s family. I was home in time to make a beautiful dinner, open a bottle of wine, put the kids to bed and have some quite alone time. I spent the 1st hour writing to David and putting a lot of old and new emotions into perspective.
Now I am here with all of you and I want to share how much I have learned to value the time I dedicate to reflecting and checking “IN”. Truth is that I have been going a mile a minute lately and I almost forgot to really enjoy the ride. It is a very surreal time for me lately. I have been full time mommy while David has been in Africa, that’s enough to consume anyone. I am well underway with the new Dancing With The Stars gig, which I am LOVING! I am also writing my book now. All things considered, I feel really good, and instead of feeling stressed and overwhelmed lately as one could, I am inspired and more alive than ever.
I got an e-mail from an old friend tonight, she wrote, “I Always have to remember to be present and not “wish” moments away,
Even the not so good ones.”
I thought a lot about how amazing she is. Knowing that even the worst and most challenging moments are worth feeling and learning from. I thought about my fears for my family living without David for many months. I thought of all the military wives that do it all the time. I had so much negative energy about how I THOUGHT we would be and how difficult it would be for my children. I actually wanted to disconnect and “wish it away”. But instead, we dealt with many moments together, our longing, our pain, our frustrations, our loneliness, stress; it’s a long list… But, I surprised myself and realized in the past months that I am much stronger than I thought I was. I think I’ve always tried to make the best of difficult situations, but this one was different. I actually used it as sort of a self-retreat. I had wished for an opportunity to go on a real retreat where you spend a spiritual week doing soul work, detoxing, maxing out physically, etc. I knew that I would not leave my kids for that long, so I gave up the wish… Then Bam! The universe granted it in a less than desirable way, but nonetheless I got it!!! Be careful what you wish for. Bottom line is, the last few months have been really challenging, managing my household, my family and my heart ALONE. But, the time had been equally positive for the woman behind the scenes. If you have enjoyed some good quality downtime, or more likely NOT taken the time you’ve needed, then you know what I mean.
My advice is, demand a lock down for you and the family. Skip the play dates, the friends, the social dinners, & really connect with your family and yourself. You may be surprised what there is to discover about everyone and yourself. Time is moving too quickly. Life gets the best of us, but only if we let it.
It’s another quiet Saturday night for me. Times have changed, but it’s by choice. I am content and I am happy.
Now if I can just get my son out of my bed I may really feel like a grown up!!!