“We must all suffer from one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The difference is discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons.” Jim Rohn
I think we all wonder sometimes what our life WOULD have been like, had we taken that other path. Had we stayed with this person, or taken that job. Kind of like that Gwyneth Paltrow movie Sliding Doors. The main character is about to catch the train, or miss the train. The movie is about how catching or missing the train affected her life in very different ways.
So as we approach the New Year, I think it’s only fitting to talk about regrets. We’ve all had a few (no, I’m not reciting Frank Sinatra’s My Life). We’ve all made decisions in our lives that we wish we could have taken back or done differently. I can’t say I have major regrets thus far. I didn’t lose my virginity too young. I tried drugs at a respectable age. The only thing I did too young maybe, was smoke cigarettes. Eight is a little young, I agree. But the majors, like my career choice, or my life partner, or how many kids I had, amongst others, I ain’t got one regret. The only regret I have, is the handful of times where I wish I had handled myself differently in certain situations. But, once the cat is out of the bag, it’s very hard to put him back in. I do, however, think the things we have regrets about build character and make us harder. Mistakes are stepping stones. It’s not bullshit, it’s true.
I try and live my life by the motto of, “No regrets.” When I make a decision, I never look back. It sometimes gets me into trouble, but I’d rather go for something and falter and learn, than sit my life on the fence… hence this Blog. I think that every moment of every day, we have a choice. We a have a choice about how we want to live our lives. And I think that choice belongs to us, and us alone. I don’t think our friends, our siblings, our parents, even our spouses can candy coat our lives for us and give us what we want. It’s called personal responsibility. We are the ones who can make our lives great, and we are the ones who can fuck it up.
I think if you want to live a life that’s full, you too have to live it with a “no regrets” motto. So that means, when you make a list of all you hope to accomplish in your life, you are a work in progress every day. Every day, you should be moving one step closer in the direction of your dreams. Every day, I stalk Oprah a little more, a little more, in hopes of one day meeting her. Okay, it’s a joke. But I do dream of meeting Oprah and asking her many questions about her life. I also dream of my Blog reaching millions, instead of thousands (which I am currently very grateful for, thank you ladies), and to continue writing my heart out every day, for women across the globe.
So I say, it’s almost a new year. No regrets ladies. Here’s how:
- Be committed to pro-active living. You got one chance, and one chance only to make this life the most kick-ass life ever. Commit to being a participant and not an observer. Be pro-active instead of reactive. Commit yourself to working every day towards the direction of your goals and dreams. Life’s a journey, not a destination.
- Don’t tolerate. Ask yourself, are you in a relationship you’ve outgrown? Is your mother burdening you with insults you don’t deserve? Now is your time to speak your truth, and decide that you’re not tolerating any more crap.
- Write it down. In the words of my Oprah, make a vision board. Write down your visions and dreams on a Bristol board and pin it up in a visible place. Or, make a list of 5 thing you hope to achieve this year. You won’t live with regrets if you keep your eye on the ball. And remember, baby steps.
- Don’t make the same mistake twice. Your opportunities await you, only once you’ve learned your lesson. Don’t keep making the same mistakes over and over again. This can lead to regret. Make mistakes, but learn from them.
- And finally, be introspective. Look deep inside yourself and accept that past mistakes are just that… in the past. Look to the future. Now is the time. Especially at the end of a year. New beginnings are incredible. Always a new chance to make it right, and live without regrets.
So what are you waiting for? Get off the fence, make a decision, live your life. Dust yourself off. Today is your day. Christmas day, 2009, is the day that you make your life all it can be. I wish that for all of you.
Merry Christmas, readers.