I was just reminiscing with a girlfriend the other day. We used to live in the same apartment building when we were both first married… us on the 5th floor, her on the 4th. And boy was it fun! We all worked hard during the week and partied on the weekends. We slept in till ungodly hours with no distractions. We hung out smoking in each other’s apartments, watching movies, chilling with friends. It was the life… except… we didn’t appreciate it! We desperately wanted to get pregnant and settle in, trading late night partying for late night bottle feedings.
And so we did. And it has been unbelievable every step of the way. I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
But sometimes, I get the urge to dance. Like totally dance. Like the neat and proper, fundraising, PTA meeting mom that I am… just toss it out the window. Like I wanna put on a short dress (I never do, despite being 5′8″ and 117 pounds), heels, and have my hubby see me as someone other than the mud-masked bathrobe momma I am 9/10 times. To have him see me as the hot sexy momma I could be, and dance the night away to my favorite music. With no one to wake me at 6am. And feel no guilt. And I’m on the fence if this makes me bad, or just normal.
And I admit, sometimes, that I get lost in the whole role as mom. When I decided to be a wife and mother, did I trade in my dancing shoes for suburbia? I mean, can’t we have both? Can’t we BE both? As moms, does all sexy have to go out the window? But in truth, how much time for sexy is there with carpool, homework, dinner preparation, night wake-ups, running around? I think as women, as moms, we are “supposed” to wear all the hats – domestic diva, nurturing mom, career woman, loving wife, sexy wife, but I think too often the “nurturing” takes precedence over all of it. I am guilty of it. And in all actuality, all this reckless abandon I am speaking off, NEVER HAPPENS. I have big plans, and always end up in bed with my night cream at 9PM. My sexy side usually falls by the waist-side by the end of the day (And that’s why I love Vegas!!!! I feel like it’s the only place I can let loose and not feel guilty about it).
So, I decided that I have many facets to me, and that’s why my hubby loves me. Sometimes I wanna take to life with reckless abandon, and be dropped off with my hubby in Ibiza and dance till 7am like I did 15 years ago. Sometimes I just wanna snuggle with the kids and put my bathrobe on and go to bed at 8 o’clock. Sometimes I wanna have sex on my dining room table. And it’s gotta all be cool.
So my point today is to point out, that as moms, I don’t think all sexy has to go out the window. I definitely am due for a late night with my hubby of simple FUN. Our dinners with our friends are yummy and great, but I think we’re due to totally let loose. Am I a bad mom if sometimes I just want to take off my jeans, trade ‘em in for a short dress and Louboutins, and make out with my man on the dance floor?
So honey, wherever you are reading now, maybe this weekend we’ll go dancing? Actually, we have a Bar-Mitzvah Saturday night but that wasn’t the kind of dancing I was thinking about.
Am I totally nuts today or do you catch my drift?
Until next time, when I return a more saner individual,