“I saw my newly married friend the other day,” she said. “I think she married just for the company. I don’t think she’s in love.”“Companionship’s a good thing; but I agree – you should have a spark if you’re going to marry the guy,” I replied. “You can be friends without getting married!”
“I want more than a little spark, if I’m going to get married!” she replied.
This could have been a conversation between one of my daughters and I. Instead, it was a conversation my mother and I had yesterday over the phone.
It’s an incredibly odd thing to be having the same conversation with your mother that you’re having with your daughters – conversations about marriage, love, companionship and – yes – eeew – about sex.
My father-in-law has the women at his retirement community flocking to his aid, now that he’s newly widowed. He’s got a flirtatious, mischievous grin on his face every time he sees one of his “lady friends.” Apparently, being 96 doesn’t mean he’s grown out of the whole “being a guy” thing. Last weekend at Sunday brunch he greeted a table full of ladies with a low, smooth, “Helloooo, ladies!”
It’s tricky being in the sandwich position, between children who still need support and guidance (and money) and our parents, who need the support (and usually just support, thankfully). Listening to parents talk about relationships – didn’t expect that!
I’ve learned that one message pretty much fits both needs, though. The message goes something like this:
“I want you to be happy, whatever you choose. I want you to find someone that respects you for who you are; that makes you laugh and enjoy life. And don’t feel like you need to rush into marriage!”
I’ve learned, too, that sometimes I just think it – and keep my mouth shut and listen. Seems to work for both sides of the sandwich squeeze!
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