I remember my friend’s brother was dating a quiet woman, who we will call Stacy, for a number of years. No matter how hard I, or my friend, tried to get Stacy to lighten up, she always seemed so cold. One day I asked my friend why Stacy was so rude. As it turns out, my friend had suggested the new family dog be named after Stacy. After overhearing the suggestion, needless to say, Stacy hardly ever spoke to her sister-in-law for eight years after that fateful suggestion. The point of this anecdote is one small incident, as innocent as might seem to one person, can have devastating effects on any family relationship. Here are three solutions to handle the problem of your spouse and parents not getting along.
Learn the Root of the Problem
It is sad when it happens but there are times that troubled relationship between a spouse and in-laws can go on forever. Well, maybe not forever but it can certainly feel that way for someone in the middle of this situation. One important step to repair a damaged relationship between your spouse and your parents is to find out what caused this whole mess. You don’t need to go into an official investigation but asking general questions can certainly shine some light.
Speak with Both Parties
If you have trouble getting reliable information on the true root of the problem, there is another solution. You might find that it is time to talk to your spouse and parents to let them know how you feel. However, it is wise that you meet with both parties separately. When you are able to have one-on-one time with each party, you can listen to their side of the story. You don’t want to immediately jump to getting your parents and spouse together to hash it out, especially if the damage that has been done is especially substantial. Take the time to speak to your spouse and parents separately.
Consider Professional Therapy
If all else fails, you may need the help of a professional. There are therapists that specialize in improving family relationships. Family counseling has helped families figure out how to care more for each other. Sometimes, being able to have a qualified professional mediate a broken family relationship can help improve matters. Another benefit of getting your spouse and parents in a therapy setting is that they will be in front of a stranger. The new person who is hearing your family squabbles should help to ensure that all parties are on their best behavior.
In summary, having to be in between a spouse and parents that don’t get along can be stressful. Finding the root of the bad blood between both parties is a great first step. Also, ensure that you take the time to talk to your spouse and parents separately. If all else fails, you could get in touch with a local family therapist. No matter what you choose to do, seeking a solution to fix broken family relationships can make your life much easier!