Men are our opposites. There’s no other way around it. And while we know more about them scientifically than ever before, we can still be left feeling pretty confused when dealing with them. This is probably truer right after a break up than at any other point in our relationship with them.
You’re not together anymore, maybe he’s even the one who ended it, but every time you see him you notice that he seems jealous. Does this mean that he still wants to be with you? That can be hard to say. Feelings are complicated whether they stem from men or women. Chances are your ex is feeling pretty emotional right now, even if he doesn’t want to admit it.
First, let’s take a look at the signs of jealousy.
When a man is jealous, he can act in a variety of ways. The chances are that these aren’t the ways you’re used to seeing him behave. He may pick fights with you suddenly and for no reason. (Or your new guy, if you’ve already moved on!) He may feel the need to parade a new bit of arm candy in front of you, or even tell you about his latest conquests in an attempt to make you jealous. He may even try to rekindle the romantic relationship you guys shared.
Now, what are some causes of jealousy?
There are a few things – no one wants to feel like they’re being replaced. For men, break ups mess with their sense of fear and ego. It’s a very humiliating feeling. It’s easy to see how jealousy can sprout from a fear of being replaced, especially when your ex thinks that he’s better than your current. Jealous can be a natural response to shame, and so it’s not that uncommon for an ex-lover to be jealous when he sees you with a new guy.
Something else to consider is the fact that oftentimes we, as human beings, just want what we can’t have. You’re broken up. You’re off limits. But he remembers when you weren’t. And even if the relationship was terrible, and you really, really shouldn’t get back together, the idea is very tempting. This can cause jealous feelings.
So how can you tell if he still has feelings for you?
The biggest way to tell if your ex really still has feelings for you is to determine if he’s acting out of jealousy or envy. Jealousy is a feeling just like sadness or anger. And in a way, envy is, too. But there is one really big difference between jealousy and envy. That difference is exactly what you need to determine.
Where jealousy comes from a place of fear of loss and of being replaced, envy comes from a place of coveting. You covet something that someone else owns. Envy falls into the ‘longing’ range of emotions, meaning that if your ex is envious of your new partner or even just the thought of a new partner, then chances are that he probably does still have feelings for you.
Whether or not you should get back together is something you should take some time to think about. But at least now you have a mini-guide to help you figure out if your ex still has feelings for you or not!