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Having children makes you no more a parent than having a piano makes you a pianist. -Michael Levine Driving home from a long day at work, I was imagining the blissful greeting from my beloved children. But the actual scene I came home to was a different story. Sienna, my 9-month-old, was crying. When I picked her up, instead of gurgling a happy hello, she baptized me in the carrot puree shed had for dinner. Alessio, my 2-year-old, tried to snatch Sienna away so that he could squiggle into my arms. Sienna down! he demanded.

After the kids are asleep, she corners Michael in the kitchen and says, About the puppy. Heather, he says, there is no need to make any rushed decisions. We have the whole weekend.

It took the promise of a one year Club Penguin membership to pacify Kaitlin into having the play date with the new girl. It was the right thing to do, Heather thinks. Anyone who says that they dont bribe their children is either lying or miserable. Good luck, Michael says that morning as Kaitlin stands pouting in the kitchen.

Don’t miss chapters one through eleven! At five forty five am, Heather wakes to the voices from the morning radio show that plays from her Bose alarm clock. She nudges Michael, gets out of bed and then she dresses, putting on her white button down shirt and new black flats, which she thinks appropriate for a meeting with the head of the PTA. After waking the children, she walks downstairs and prepares breakfast and lunches.