I’m turning 40 this summer and am really looking forward to it. I’ve earned my stripes (and grays) and am ready to step into the next phase of my life. There’s something very sexy about being a woman in my forties: I’m more grounded, more real, and more comfortable in my skin.
And there’s no clock ticking.
The only negative thing about turning 40 is that I keep running into other people’s negative beliefs about the ticking clock, which isn’t my story. Yes, I want kids and I plan to have them, but I believe that when it’s my time, I’ll be able to get pregnant and have a child. I don’t think about a clock and this often surprises people, including my girlfriends.
“I’m not going there”
I recently had a conversation with a dear friend who’s been worried for the past five years about her ticking clock. Every time we speak she brings it up and every time I say, “I’m not going there.” I don’t indulge the stories, scares, and noise about trying to have kids after 40 – I don’t buy into the negativity. I shared my perspective with my friend, who said, “But you have to be realistic.” Realistic? In my reality, I know that what I talk about and think about is what I create in my life, my body, and my circumstances, so why would I fuel such a negative internal conversation?
The Reality
If I worry about something that doesn’t exist, I create the perfect conditions for it to come into my life. If a negative idea like the ticking clock is something I constantly think and talk about, then it already is in my life because I give it time, attention, energy and conversation. The reality is that life in this moment is positive and life can have many possible outcomes. Here are six ways to keep your mind and body free from the ticking clock:
Filter input
Don’t read articles or stories about how hard it is to get pregnant after 40. Instead, find success stories about women who were able to conceive after 40. Celebrate the positive possibilities.
Stay healthy
Find out what you can do to help you to stay healthy and fit. Explore options like exercise, nutrition, supplements, and rest. Talk with an expert to find out what would be right for you. For instance, my doctor suggested I start taking pre-natal vitamins now.
Feel good
Besides staying healthy, do things that make you feel good inside and out. Have fun. When you feel good about yourself and feel strong in your body and soul, you’ll have a healthy mindset and a positive outlook.
Keep your conversations positive
Your words create your world, so speak only of what you want and stay focused on believing that everything will work out. If someone insists on talking about the ticking clock, figure out a way to disengage or gently tell them your different perspective.
Find additional ways to fulfill your desire to be a mother
Get a pet, volunteer with kids, spend time with nieces and nephews or with your friends’ kids. Taking care of other living beings and spending time around kids is a way to tap into the space of what you desire.
Have a fertility test
If you’re concerned about your ability to conceive, go ahead and have a fertility test. Then you’ll know what’s what and can act accordingly to accept and be okay with whatever you discover.
The Goal
The core goal is to feel good about yourself, no matter what happens. Make a point of showering yourself with love, acceptance … and faith.
About the author:
Tracey Trottenberg loves what she does and teaches women in business to step into their leadership while staying true to who they are as women. The founder of Amazing Women International, an organization that educates, connects and inspires women entrepreneurs, she’s also a speaker, business coach and Show Host of “Expose your Self: How To Lead and Stay Feminine” on The Women’s Information Network. Living in Los Angeles, she’s excited about turning forty and can’t wait to be a mom!
