Here’s to the Fat Mommies!
Im not just a fat mommy. Im a fat mommy in the Palisades. It doesnt get much worse than that.
Our Un-Entitled Summer
Madison got an iPad for her birthday. Why cant I????? The whining, nagging tone is back and its only 9 in the morning. Because YOU are not Madison and I am DEFINITELY not Madisons mother.” Or as my mother used to tell me: Because the sky is high. This does not appease her.
Persuading My Picky Eater
My eldest daughter, Syd, ate sashimi at age three. Devouring tentacles while slurping down pasta and squid, her nickname evolved and “Squid” has always been an excellent eater with an adventurous palate. She begged me to try chocolate covered ants and had a field day in the Harry Potter store popping Barf, Booger and “Earwax jellybeans. No doubt, shell grow up to be one of those obnoxious foodies, taking Instagram pictures of her Matcha Tiramasu or Pork Wagu.
Getting Hooked
Lets face it, girls. There are some things about being a mommy, they just dont tell us. Like how, after giving birth, your tummy and titties will never look the same. How, even if youre a citizen, on some days, you threaten your kids with deportation. How, one day, your child will go to a school fair and with boundless enthusiasm, thrust at you a plastic bag with a live, gill-bearing craniate animal in it. And how just like that, you are the Mother of the Fish.