“Are you there God, it’s me Dani. I can’t believe Betsy got her period before me. Does she have to be the first in everything? Isn’t it enough that you gave her enormous boobs, straight blond hair and a talent for flute playing? Why do you hate me? Is it because I’m Jewish?” The only books I read as a kid were by the sophisticated and worldly Judy Blume. Her books were … [Read more...] about Sex Education, Courtesy of Judy Blume
I wrote this in honor of Passover AND Cher: I invited Cher, Baruch Hashem, to my parent’s house last year for Pesach. It had been on my ‘to do’ list for quite some time, but well, you know how it is. Life just seems to get in the way, and shit is put off for yet another day. But I finally moved it to the top of my list. I knew I was taking a chance, and there weren't any … [Read more...] about My Passover with Cher
I'd like to think that I am a relatively sane person, although "insane" has been bandied about every now and again when describing my behavior. However, in the insane/sane production credits last night, insane definitely got top billing. My boyfriend went into the city yesterday, that's New York City yo, for work. He was going to pick up his daughter at her college dorm … [Read more...] about My Victoria’s Secret Text Message Meltdown
It wasn't long ago that I was laying in a fetal position, a big ball of regret, confusion and hopelessness, on the cold (and dusty) kitchen floor of my studio apartment in New York, located at the mouth of the Lincoln Tunnel. The depression that I have endured since I was a child had come back with a vengeance, testing my strength, resolve and ability to get up off of the … [Read more...] about Still Golden (Girls) After All These Years
My neighbor recently accosted me outside my house, as I was getting my mail. I say neighbor because I don't actually know her name. I only know her as Mustang Sally because, well, she drives a white Mustang, and I like the song. I've got both my boyfriend and his son singing it every time they see her car in the driveway. Anyhoo - she made some small talk about not seeing my … [Read more...] about Samoas and Sass: Since When Do Girl Scouts Have Attitudes?