It’s no secret that there is cocktailing transgressing during playdates. As forts are built and princess dresses are traded, mimosas, chardonnays, and cosmos exchange hands too. Yes, moms are enjoying playdates these days just as much as their kids are, often over an alcoholic beverage.

Whether it’s a Bloody Mary at 9:00 a.m. or an afternoon Merlot, here are a few guidelines to make the most of your mommy and me happy-dates.

1. You Can Say No

Just because your friend is offering you a drink and enjoying one herself it doesn’t mean you’re required to accept it. Simply say you’ll pass this time and thank her for the offer.

2. Consider the Home’s Hazards

Is your hostess’s home completely baby-proofed? Is there a pool or a hot tub? Is the property’s yard secured or is it open and easily accessible by others? If having a drink could impair your response time in case of an emergency, take this into consideration before you join in on the cocktailing.

3. Modeling Behavior

Children are aware of the habits and behaviors of their parents well before developing the ability to articulate their observations. Consider the message you may be sending if every playdate involves alcohol. Moms are certainly allowed to enjoy a drink without feeling ladled with guilt. Just remember that those little eyes are watching your every move.

4. Know Your Limits

Before you sip on that mixed drink, be honest with yourself about your limits. Your weight, the medications you may be taking, the amount of alcohol you regularly consume, and even the weather are all important factors to evaluate when drinking. Your hostess may be able to handle twice the liquor that you can. Don’t feel like you have to keep up!

5. Read the Label

If the playdate involves spirits instead of wine, be aware of the alcohol’s proof. The higher the proof, the higher the percentage of alcohol. Half a cocktail with a high proof can have the same effect as two drinks made with a low proof. Familiarize yourself with what you’re drinking to avoid any surprises (or embarrassments).

6. What if Something Goes Wrong

What would you say to your husband or family if something serious happened to your child while your were under the influence? Don’t put yourself in a situation where your judgment or your parenting is questioned.

Have fun on the playdate, relax, and even live it up a little. Just remember to put your kids and their safety first.