I Want To Be a Mom, And Do Nothing!by Me and Meg
The sisters behind the blog, www.meandmeg.com, Leigh and Meg are mothers and intrepretive dancers, who have been f*cking up their kids since 2005.
"I want to be a mom and do nothing!"
Don't get all amped up, this is not my assertion. It's my four-year-old's. Lately, besides saying she has a wiener, she also states quite assuredly that she wants to be a mom like me and "do nothing."
At first, I thought, "What a little a-hole." Here I am, running around like a mad woman, and she has the audacity to see that as nothing. Come on.
Then I switched gears. Maybe I should take it as a compliment. Like, the reason she thinks that moms "do nothing" must be because I make it look so easy, right? ...hmm, that one didn't stick.
She must just be confused.
So she brought it up again last night and this was our conversation:
My daughter: "Mom, I don't want to be a NASCAR racer or doctor, they have to do a lot of stuff."
Me: "Ok, you don't have to."
My daughter: "Yeah, I'm just gonna be a mom like you and do nothing."
Me: "Um, moms actually do stuff."
My daughter: "They do?"
My daughter: "Like what?"
In my mind, I thought - Well, I hope you see me as your servant, and I would love it if you blossomed into an ungrateful floozy!
Outwardly, I replied: "We do laundry, clean toilets, teach manners, cook, answer questions, take you to school, make your lunches, do crafts."
My daughter: "Oh, ok Mom" (unimpressed).
I wanted to say a whole lot more, but then I would start to sound like one of those really bitter stay-at-home moms, and she is only four. I guess I should look at the silver lining here: at least my daughter hasn't picked up on the fact that I'm losing my mind.
However, she also doesn't seem to notice that I'm a budding author or all my other tremendous accomplishments. Seriously, I can burrito wrap a poopy diaper with the best of them.
I asked her again this morning what she wanted to be when she got older, and today she said a lawyer. I told her she would be good at it because they get to talk a lot. She said: "Well, you talk a lot and you're not lawyer."