Could Your Kids Pee in the Woods if They Had To?

by Dani Alpert

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I was listening to some parenting expert the other day (and really, aren’t all parents experts?), and the woman was commenting on how kids don’t know how to be bored. If they ARE bored, they don’t know how to entertain themselves without the use of technology.

I loved this scene from Judd Apatow's "This is 40"...

Debbie: We have decided to cut back on all of the electronics we use.

Sadie: What?

Pete: You need to get outside more.

Debbie: You could build that fort.

Sadie: And do what in the fort?

Debbie: You need to develop your imagination.

Debbie: You don’t need technology. 

Great things can come out of boredom. It’s not only about building ones imagination but it’s also about building life skills, practical sh*t. One of the skills that I am so thankful for and has served me well throughout the years - saving me more than a few times - is the ability, and dexterity with which I can squat (anywhere) and go to the bathroom. Number one, please.

Like most kids, I complained of being bored, but unlike technology today, the devices that existed back then were usually tethered to a wall, making it very difficult to carry them with you on long car trips, plane rides, or into restaurants. We had to use our imaginations and hone up on our life skills.

I was in Florida last weekend with my boyfriend and we decided to check out a new beach. I had to go to the bathroom super bad, and there wasn’t a toilet in sight.

Having had a lot of experience relieving myself in woods, walking trails, and on the sides of highways and byways, I didn’t think twice about a beach. It was surely to be washed away at the next high tide anyway, and there wasn’t a soul around - I’m not that much of an exhibitionist or rude. I squatted behind a sorry excuse for a dune and went. The beauty of a beach is the light breeze that allows for speedy drying.

My point, if you can actually call it a point, is that because I wasn’t attached to technology growing up (nor did my mother give a rat's ass if I was bored), I was thrown outside of the house and told not to come back until I smelled the Chef Boyardee wafting in the air.

I was forced to learn how to drop trou and go to the bathroom without dripping on my shoes, underwear or pants and I am a better woman for it.

Can your kids say the same?

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