Many parents worry about when they should talk to their child about sex and what they should say. Although you may be nervous, it's very important that you tell your child about sex so that she learns the correct information. With some thought and planning, you can feel comfortable when you talk to your child about sex.
Many parents worry about when they should talk to their child about sex and what they should say. Although you may be nervous, it's very important that you tell your child about sex so that she learns the correct information. With some thought and planning, you can feel comfortable when you talk to your child about sex.
Misconceptions
Many parents think that talking about sex with their children is a single conversation. The most effective way of talking with your child about sex is to have a series of conversations over the years with your child. By providing age-appropriate information, you provide the building blocks for them to understand about sex as they grow and mature. If you give your child all of the information on sex and reproduction in a single conversation, he won't be able to easily digest and comprehend it. Another misconception is that parents think that by telling a young child a myth, such as the stork, they're sparing the child from information that they are not mature enough to handle. If a child asks a specific question, no matter the age, provide an honest and age-appropriate answer. For example, if a 5-year-old asks how the baby gets into the mother's stomach, answer the question with the correct information but don't provide more information than your child is capable of understanding.
Time Frame
You should have various conversations with your child over the years about sex. When your child is a preschooler, talk with her about her body parts and use the correct words. At about age 5, children can understand about pregnancy and that babies grow in a woman's tummy. When your child is about 8 or 9, explain the basics about sexual intercourse and how babies are made. You should also begin talking about puberty and how her body with change in the next few years. Talk to your child a few days after this conversation to see if she has any questions or wants to talk more. During the preteen years, be sure to discuss consequences of sexual activity, such as sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancy. During her teen years, make sure she knows you are available to answer any questions she has and any specific situations she wants to know about.
Considerations
Although many parents think the parent of the same sex should talk to the child, it's important that your child is comfortable talking to both parents about sex. You may want to have the same-sex parent provide the detailed information on sex and puberty, but make sure that the other parent has conversations on the topic as well. When you're going to talk to your child about sex, be sure you and your child are in a comfortable location that the child feels free to talk. You should bring up the subject when the child doesn't have major life events going on, such as starting a new school. You should talk without younger siblings around and during a time of day where you can talk as long as you need to.
Expert Insight
The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP) recommends that it is important to explain the consequences of being sexually active to your child. The AACAP also suggests that parents create an open environment that is not critical of the child while talking about sex. If you feel nervous or uncomfortable, it's fine to share these feelings with your child. Be sure to also include any family values or religious beliefs about sex in your conversation.
Benefits
One of the main benefits of talking to your child about sex is that you open the lines of communication about the subject with your child. During the conversation, you can encourage your child to ask questions in the future. If you don't have the talk, your child may not feel comfortable asking you questions about sex. Another benefit to having the sex talk is that you can provide your child with the correct facts about sex. Otherwise, your child will learn about sex from friends and other people.
