If you have any problems in your marriage that you haven’t addressed before getting pregnant, you better work on them while you are pregnant, because the arrival of a new baby in the house can put a strain on the best of marriages. While you are pregnant, make the time to work on your marriage. Share all your dreams, hopes and fears you may have about parenting. Take advantage of this time, because once the baby arrives, having these quiet moments will be a thing of the past.
Stress of Weight Gain
A pregnant woman is beautiful. You may know this intellectually, but you still feel fat and unattractive. Even if your husband reassures you, you don’t believe it, and this messes with your self-esteem. You may feel bloated, have heartburn, have to urinate all the time and, therefore, are not often in the mood for sex, which has obvious repercussions on most marriages.
Because of hormonal fluctuations, mood swings are quite common in pregnant women. Add to the raging hormones the spectrum of feelings about becoming a mother, and your husband may wonder who this new woman is who looks like the woman he married but isn’t acting like it. While some women have mood swings that alternate from good to bad, other women are more depressed and anxious, according to the Baby Center. So that your husband can brace himself, let him know that moodiness is worst around six to 10 weeks and, again, closer to delivery.
You may have heard how expensive it is to raise a child–$215,514 to age 18, using 2010 figures–and this does not even include college, according to Baby Center. This website has a child-raising calculator to help you determine this. This leads to the often-stressful decision you must make of going back to work or being a stay-at-home mom. If you decide you want or have to work, arranging daycare can be another stress-induced worry that could put a strain on your marriage. If you decide to stay home, you may have to budget in ways you are not used to, which can strain a marriage.
Most women realize that they aren’t going to get much sleep after the baby arrives, but not many know that pregnancy can interfere with your sleep, too. Early on in the pregnancy, you should be sleeping fine and will probably need more of it, according to the Kids Health website. But, later in the pregnancy, most women have trouble getting a good night’s sleep. The growing fetus makes it more difficult to get comfortable, you have to get up during the night to urinate, and you may experience backaches that keep you up at night. Sleep deprivation will lead to cranky and irritable behavior.
No Attention for Dad
Dads can become moody, too. After all, his life is about to change just as much as yours, but you are the only one getting any attention. Dads may worry, sometimes rightly so, that they will not be a top priority of yours once the baby arrives. Maybe this is selfish, but it is real to some dads and can cause problems in the marriage.
- pregnant woman and her husband image by Andrejs Pidjass from Fotolia.com