After the excitement of a new pregnancy calms, expecting parents — especially first-time parents — often have hundreds of questions. One of the most common involves sex during pregnancy: Is it safe?
In most healthy pregnancies, sex is usually safe unless your doctor or midwife has recommended otherwise. The baby is protected by the uterus, amniotic fluid and cervix, so intercourse will not hurt the baby in an uncomplicated pregnancy.
That said, there are still a few things to be aware of. The dos and don’ts of sex during pregnancy include precautions to take, side effects to expect, times when you should avoid pregnancy sex, and positions that may make intimacy more comfortable as your body changes.
Do Expect Your Sex Drive to Change
Everyone experiences a different sex drive during pregnancy. Some women are rarely in the mood, while others feel more interested in sex than usual. For those who do experience a higher sex drive, this often happens once the second trimester hits.
Many women have reported sex during pregnancy as a magical experience. Because your blood volume increases during pregnancy, your breasts may become swollen and your sensitivity may be heightened. This can result in more powerful orgasms.
On the other hand, nausea, fatigue, breast tenderness, body changes, stress or worries about the baby can make sex the last thing on your mind. Both reactions are normal. The important thing is to communicate with your partner instead of feeling pressured to want sex — or guilty because you do.
Don’t Worry That Sex Will Hurt the Baby
Although many moms and dads worry about hurting the baby, this is a myth in most healthy pregnancies. Sex does not cause miscarriage in an uncomplicated pregnancy. As much as dad might like to think his member is large enough to cause destruction, this won’t be the case. The baby is well-protected by plenty of cushioning in the womb and will barely even notice.
You may feel the baby move after sex, but that is usually because of your own movement, your increased heart rate or uterine contractions after orgasm — not because the baby knows what just happened.
Don’t Have Sex If Your Doctor Says to Avoid It
There are a few circumstances where doctors or midwives may recommend avoiding sex during your pregnancy. If your provider has told you to avoid intercourse, ask whether that means vaginal intercourse only, orgasm, oral sex, anal sex, or all sexual activity.
You may be advised to avoid sex during pregnancy if:
- You’ve experienced heavy bleeding.
- Your water has broken.
- Your membranes have ruptured or you are leaking amniotic fluid.
- You are at risk for early labor.
- Your cervix has opened early.
- You have placenta previa or another placenta-related concern.
- You’re having twins, triplets or more and are in the later stage of pregnancy.
- Your doctor or midwife has given you pelvic rest instructions.
March of Dimes advises calling your provider or going to the emergency room if sex is followed by heavy bleeding, leaking amniotic fluid, painful cramps or contractions.
Do Practice Safe Sex During Pregnancy
Nearly all types of sex can be enjoyed during pregnancy if your pregnancy is healthy and your doctor has not advised against it. The recommendation is to avoid extremely rough sex that could damage the vagina or cervix.
Aside from this, protection is very important if you’re having sex with a new partner, multiple partners or a partner whose STI status is unknown. Catching a sexually transmitted infection during pregnancy can cause serious health effects, and some infections can be passed to the baby during pregnancy or birth. March of Dimes recommends using a condom with a new partner and avoiding sex with a partner who may have an STD.
Do Try Positions That Feel Comfortable
Need a few tips for pregnancy sex? For starters, have some lube handy. Pregnancy can cause vaginal dryness, so a water-based lubricant can make things run smoother.
Sex isn’t always easy with a big round belly, so there are a few positions that can support the stomach and allow you to control depth and pressure. Going deeper might not feel good during pregnancy, especially later on.
Comfortable pregnancy sex positions may include:
- Woman on top
- Side-by-side
- “Doggie” style
- Spooning
- Mutual masturbation
- Oral sex
If you’re in the second or third trimester, doctors often recommend avoiding lying flat on your back for long periods because the weight of the uterus can compress major blood vessels. Cleveland Clinic recommends positions such as side-by-side, spooning, penetration from behind, woman on top or standing as more comfortable alternatives.
Don’t Forget This Oral Sex Precaution
Oral sex can be safe during pregnancy, but there is one important rule: your partner should not blow air into the vagina. Strange as that may sound, blowing air into the vagina can cause a rare but serious air embolism.
It is also important to avoid oral sex with a partner who has cold sores, genital sores or possible STI symptoms. If you are unsure about infection risk, ask your doctor what precautions are best for your pregnancy.
Do Know the Possible Side Effects
Although bedtime adventures are safe during a healthy pregnancy, there are still some side effects to be aware of so you don’t panic if they happen.
- Cramping: Some women experience cramping after sex that lasts up to a couple of hours. This isn’t always something to stress about. Orgasm and semen can cause uterine contractions. However, painful cramps or contractions that continue should be reported to your doctor.
- Spotting: Light spotting is another common occurrence after sex during pregnancy. Because blood flow is increased during pregnancy, the blood vessels on the cervix can be more fragile. However, call your doctor immediately if you experience heavy or period-like bleeding.
- Fluid discharge: If you notice fluid leaking after sex, it could be a sign that your water has broken or is leaking. If this happens, call your doctor or midwife right away.
The Bottom Line
The dos and don’ts of sex during pregnancy come down to comfort, communication and medical guidance. If your pregnancy is healthy, sex is usually safe and can continue for as long as it feels good to you. But if something hurts, feels wrong, causes bleeding or makes you anxious, stop and check in with your provider.
Pregnancy changes your body, your mood, your energy and sometimes your relationship with sex. That’s normal. Whether you’re suddenly more interested, completely uninterested or somewhere in between, the goal is not to follow a rulebook — it’s to stay safe, stay connected and listen to your body.
