Most women can safely have sex during pregnancy. In a healthy pregnancy, sex does not hurt the baby; the baby is protected by the amniotic fluid in the uterus and the strong muscles of the uterus. However, your sex life might change while you’re expecting, and that’s completely normal. Pregnancy can affect your comfort level, your energy, your body image and your desire for sex.
Staying in open communication with your partner and checking with your doctor to make sure you aren’t having a high-risk pregnancy are keys to having safe sex during this time in your life.
Considerations
Women at special risk for pregnancy-related complications or premature labor should try to avoid sex while expecting, unless their doctor says otherwise. Even if you aren’t experiencing a high-risk pregnancy, you might not want to have sex due to changes in your body size, symptoms like backaches or the emotional excitement of having a new son or daughter on the way into the world.
Hormonal changes can also decrease or increase your sex drive throughout your pregnancy. Each woman and each pregnancy is entirely different, so it’s hard to tell if you will want a lot of sexual activity or very little while you’re expecting. Some women feel more sensitive and interested in sex, while others feel tired, nauseated, sore or simply uninterested. Both experiences are normal.
Safe Sex During Pregnancy
Safe sex during pregnancy starts with knowing your own health situation. If your pregnancy is uncomplicated, most sexual positions are OK as long as they feel comfortable. As your belly grows, you may need to experiment with positions that place less pressure on your abdomen and give you more control over depth and movement.
Comfort matters. If something hurts, feels awkward or makes you anxious, stop and try something else. Pregnancy is not the time to push through pain or pretend everything feels the same as before. Intimacy can change from trimester to trimester, and what worked one month may not feel good the next.
Warnings
Do not let your partner blow air into your vagina during oral sex. In rare cases, this can cause a potentially dangerous air embolism. KidsHealth also warns that blowing air into the vagina during oral sex can cause an air embolism, which is a blockage of a blood vessel by an air bubble.
You should also know your partner’s sexual history, including whether they might have any sexually transmitted infections. Having an STI while pregnant can cause serious health problems for both you and your baby. Mayo Clinic recommends avoiding vaginal, oral and anal sex if your partner has an STI, and using a condom if you or your partner has sex with other people or if you have sex with a new partner while pregnant.
If you’ve had miscarriages in the past, unexplained vaginal bleeding during pregnancy or are expecting twins or other multiples, ask your doctor what is safe for you. Do not assume general pregnancy sex advice applies to every pregnancy.
Misconceptions
Some people mistakenly believe that the penis can come into contact with the growing fetus during sex. In reality, the penis does not come anywhere near the baby due to the protective amniotic sac surrounding the baby.
Another common misconception is that sex causes miscarriage. Mayo Clinic notes that sex during pregnancy does not cause miscarriage; most miscarriages happen because the fetus is not developing as expected.
It is also normal to notice mild cramping or light spotting after sex or orgasm. However, bad cramping that does not go away or heavy bleeding that resembles a menstrual period should be reported to your healthcare provider.
Time Frame
Sex during pregnancy may feel different at different stages. During the first trimester, nausea, fatigue and breast tenderness may reduce interest in sex. During the second trimester, some women notice more desire or stronger orgasms because of increased blood flow. During the third trimester, a growing belly, backaches, pelvic pressure and general discomfort can make intercourse more challenging.
The old advice that all women should avoid intercourse during the final weeks of pregnancy is not universal. Instead, follow your doctor’s guidance. Your healthcare provider may advise avoiding sex if you have vaginal bleeding, leaking amniotic fluid, cervical changes, placenta previa or a history of early labor or premature birth.
When to Call the Doctor
If you experience severe pain, bleeding or unusual discharge after sex, call your doctor right away. If contractions start happening after intercourse and don’t go away, you also need to consult with a qualified medical professional.
You should also call your doctor or midwife if you think your water has broken, if you are leaking fluid, if you have heavy bleeding, or if anything after sex feels alarming or different from what your provider told you to expect.
Alternative Activities
Sometimes you might not feel like having intercourse during pregnancy, and that’s OK. Talk to your partner about alternative activities, ranging from kissing and cuddling to sensual massage, oral sex, mutual touch or outercourse.
Safe sex during pregnancy is not only about what is medically allowed. It is also about what feels emotionally and physically right for you. If intercourse feels uncomfortable or your doctor recommends avoiding it, there are still plenty of ways to stay close. Cuddling, kissing, and massage can all preserve intimacy without putting pressure on your body.
