• Skip to content
  • Skip to secondary menu
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
  • Home
  • Shop ModernMom
  • Become An Insider

ModernMom

The premiere destination for moms

  • Parenting
    • Pregnancy
    • Baby
    • Kids
    • Tweens and Teens
    • ModernMom Monday Videos
  • Cooking
  • Living Healthy
    • Breast Cancer
    • Health & Fitness
    • Body after Baby
    • Beauty
    • Relationships
    • Love
  • Lifestyle
    • Crafts
    • At Home
    • Education
    • Travel
    • Pets
    • Decorate
    • Money
    • Brooke Burke
  • Celebrate
    • Holidays
      • Easter
      • Valentine’s Day
      • New Year’s
      • Christmas
      • Hanukah
      • Halloween
      • Thanksgiving
    • Birthdays
    • Parties
  • Must Have
  • Contests
  • Entertainment

Funny Pregnancy Tips

May 22, 2017 by ModernMom Staff Leave a Comment

You’ve been to the doctor, the bookstore, the baby store and are ready to tell the world your big news–you are expecting. While the doctor is full of wise medical information on your condition, there are also a million books to help you along the way. The stores are also packed with advice-giving clerks and fellow mothers-to-be. You may find that what you really need is to discover the lighter, more humorous, side of being pregnant.

Cravings

One of the first symptoms of pregnancy that you may notice is a change in your taste buds. Aside from the “pickles and ice cream” stereotype, you may find that you crave things you never dreamed of eating before you conceived, such as anchovies, guacamole, bananas with mustard or chocolate on your burger. Adversely, you may find yourself repelled by the foods you used to love, such as tomato sauce, coffee or bacon. The key to cravings is moderation. Unless your doctor advises you to avoid certain foods, feel free to indulge yourself a bit. Unless, of course, you crave something that is obviously a no-no and might put you or your baby in jeopardy.

Sleep

Being pregnant is a big job for a body to complete, and your sleep patterns may reflect this. Feel free to indulge in an afternoon nap if you have the time, but note that this is typically frowned upon in the average workplace. It’s also important that you get enough sleep each night, so your body can rejuvenate itself while it’s under production. Keep in mind that your days of uninterrupted sleep are numbered. As your baby grows, so will your need to empty your bladder every hour on the hour as your baby puts pressure on that teaspoon of urine.

Grooming

Often overlooked, personal grooming takes on a whole new meaning when you are expecting. Keep in mind that in a few months you will no longer be able to see your toenails. Unless you enlist reliable help, you may be required to register them as a lethal weapon when you are admitted to the hospital to give birth. Likewise, simple grooming habits, such as shaving your legs, will become difficult–if not impossible–unless you are an accomplished gymnast. Practice stretching your legs out sideways while shaving right from the early stages of your pregnancy if you are timid about exposing your hairy limbs when it comes time to deliver.

Anatomy Documentation

Before you realize it, your “normal” belly button and slim ankles will be things of the past, along with your waistline. As well as an expanding abdomen, you may discover a few extra chins that you never had before as well as gobs of hair left in your hairbrush. It’s a good idea to take some photos of yourself during the first trimester, as this will serve as motivation to continue when you begin to feel as though your pregnancy will never be over. These pics will also come in handy after the birth, when you realize that loose skin near your waist is, in fact, still a part of your anatomy.

Calendar

Forget those cutesy countdown calendars that commemorate the 40 weeks of pregnancy. As every woman that has given birth knows, a typical pregnancy lasts for eight months and one year. The final year (or “ninth month” to those outside your world) will be spent jumping at every twinge in your abdomen, detailed planning, packing a suitcase for every trip to the corner store, cleaning the nursery 87 times and hitting the bathroom 439 times to deposit the requisite half ounce of urine.

Comments

comments

Filed Under: Pregnancy

About ModernMom Staff

Reader Interactions

Primary Sidebar

Search

Tell a friend

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter
  • YouTube
ModernMom Boutique

ModernMom TV

Featured

20 Things I Wish I Knew Before I Had Kids

After seeing and holding the newest member of our family … [Read More...] about 20 Things I Wish I Knew Before I Had Kids

Must Have

STEM-related Toys to Include in Your Child’s Easter Basket This Year 

April has arrived which means it’s time to pull out the food … [Read More...] about STEM-related Toys to Include in Your Child’s Easter Basket This Year 

Did you know?

Male Fertility Tips

basal temperature as sign of pregnancy

Basal Temperature As Sign of Pregnancy

Use Frozen Bananas for Baking

How to Use Frozen Bananas for Baking

Breast Pains & Pregnancy

Breast Pains & Pregnancy

When to Take a Toddler to the Emergency Room With a Fever

When to Take a Toddler to the Emergency Room With a Fever

cold sore and fever blister remedies

Cold Sore and Fever Blister Remedies

Clean the Smell From the Inside of a Leather Jacket

How to Clean the Smell From the Inside of a Leather Jacket

Footer

  • About Us
  • Contact ModernMom
  • Advertise With Us
  • Press
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of Use
  • Contributors

Copyright © 2023 Modern Mom. All Rights Reserved.

Reproduction of any portion of this website only at the express permission of Mom, Inc.

The information provided on ModernMom is for educational use only. It should not be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.