Ok, so I’m about 8 months pregnant and kind of starting to get over it all, but what I’m over even more is some of the stuff people say to me and about my pregnancy. Excuse me, but am I like a walking billboard people can just freely comment upon? Imagine if we did that to non-pregnant people. If you’re pregnant, I am sure you can relate. And if you’re not, please read this and be careful the next time you say something to a pregnant woman. We are VERY sensitive and you are VERY not. Here are the top five things to avoid saying:
1. OMG. You. Are. HUGE!
Imagine if you were to say this to a non-pregnant person. Just because someone is carrying a baby does not give anyone the right to comment on their size. Trust me, we are already feeling big and ugly enough, the very very last thing we want to hear someone point out is how “huuuuge” we are. Am I right ladies? The fact is, even at eight months pregnant I’m still smaller than most people out there, so, should I tell them: “I may be big but I’m still smaller than you are, and you aren’t even pregnant!”
2. Awe. You’re SO Small…
In the beginning of the pregnancy people always said “Awe, you’re so small, is the baby ok???” It’s like asking if someone is anorexic, it is personal and it is not ok! Imagine if something was really wrong with me or the baby, and you are a stranger asking why I am so small — it truly is none of your business. Do not make comments about someone’s physical appearance unless you have something positive to say. When you’re pregnant, criticism sounds worse than anything, and even if it’s not meant as criticism, we FEEL it as such.
3. You’re Going to Breastfeed, Right?!
Imagine if I went up to a McDonald’s drive-through and knocked on the window of someone’s car and said “You’re not going to eat that, full of hormones and fat, fake, hamburger are you?” It is none of my business, and what I choose to feed my child is also none of your business. Unless you are my OB or my child’s pediatrician, how I decide to raise my child, i.e what they eat, where they go to school, what they wear, etc, is my business as their parent. Not yours.
4. Can I Touch Your Belly?
Unless you are my baby’s daddy, my family, or a friend, the answer is NO! Especially if you are a total and complete stranger following me around in Whole Foods, you are sick, and I don’t want you near my belly.
5. You’re Not Going Back to Work. Are Ya?
Again, I sound like a broken record, but this too is off-limits. The fact is, moms struggle with the work decision more than you can possibly imagine. We wonder if we should quit, we figure out if it’s even a possibility to quit, we don’t want to give up our careers but we don’t want to just stay at home either. We want both. Every mom thinks about this, and every mom, at one point or another, is torn. Do not bring up subjects that are known to already be sore topics. And this one is. So please, just tell us we will be wonderful moms no matter what we decide to do and leave it at that.
What You CAN Say
Wow, you look wonderful. You are glowing, I mean, really! You’ll figure out the work situation, of course you will. Your baby is so lucky to have you as her mom! Labor is going to be just fine, don’t even worry about it now– your skin looks amazing! Hey, do you need help carrying in the groceries? Sipping wine is fine, I wouldn’t worry about it. Whatever you are doing you are doing a fabulous job, you make it look so effortless. Boy, you are an inspiration! (Ok, maybe that one is pushing it…)