• Skip to content
  • Skip to secondary menu
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
  • Home
  • Shop ModernMom
  • Become An Insider

ModernMom

The premiere destination for moms

  • Parenting
    • Pregnancy
    • Baby
    • Kids
    • Tweens and Teens
    • ModernMom Monday Videos
  • Cooking
  • Living Healthy
    • Breast Cancer
    • Health & Fitness
    • Body after Baby
    • Beauty
    • Relationships
    • Love
  • Lifestyle
    • Crafts
    • At Home
    • Education
    • Travel
    • Pets
    • Decorate
    • Money
    • Brooke Burke
  • Celebrate
    • Holidays
      • Easter
      • Valentine’s Day
      • New Year’s
      • Christmas
      • Hanukah
      • Halloween
      • Thanksgiving
    • Birthdays
    • Parties
  • Must Have
  • Contests
  • Entertainment

Is Surrogacy for You?

June 2, 2010 by JulieAllgood Leave a Comment

People come to our agency from all walks of life and they all have one thing in common: they want to be parents. For a variety of reasons, they have – so far – been unable to fulfill their dream. Many people come to us after years of disappointing fertility treatments, numerous miscarriages, and other experiences of infertility and disappointment. They desperately want a baby to join their family and share their loving.

The People Who Come to Us

In one way or another, the people who come to us have bodies that have failed them in one way or another. They face a wide range of challenges. A woman in her 30s developed an auto-immune disease which doesn’t allow her to escape the steroids she relies on to keep her alive for the months of gestation required to carry a healthy newborn. A couple who married later in life want to start the family, now that they’ve both found the right partner. And we see men – straight and gay, young and old – who’ve wanted to be fathers all their lives.

Many Questions

They all ask questions – many, many questions. Will this work? How much will it cost? How do we know the surrogate won’t want to keep the baby herself? And then there are the questions they don’t ask: How am I going to explain this to my family? Will my baby love me? What if something happens to the surrogate? What if this doesn’t work? What if there are multiples? How can I ever thank or repay someone for doing this for me?

Is Surrogacy for You?

How will you know if surrogacy is right for you? Here are a few tips to help you clarify the answer for yourself:

Research

Ask around in your community and in your circle of friends to see if someone you know or know of has used a surrogate or been a surrogate. The good news is that surrogacy is becoming much more common. If you find someone with experience, ask them questions. Ask them for referrals. Also, reproductive endocrinologists and obstetricians will often refer their patients to trusted resources, including reputable surrogacy agencies, attorneys who specialize in family formation law, psychologists, etc.

Assess Your Financial Commitment

Honestly assess your financial situation. Put together the various numbers and budget out the cost. Is this a long-term or a short-term goal? While it may be tempting to allow your emotions to lead, it’s best to take your time and plan. There may be hidden costs you aren’t yet aware of. A good agency can help you with the pricing and alert you to possible unexpected costs.

Do Some Soul-Searching

Speak with your spouse, your partner, and/or a trusted friend. Talk about your fears and hopes. Explore all the possibilities. Speak with your doctor. Let it all out with your therapist. Grieve your other losses and look toward the future. Where do you see yourself in one year? In two years? Do you have the willingness, strength, and support necessary to go forward?

An Amazing Journey

Surrogacy is an amazing and beautiful journey. The surrogates I’ve worked with describe the experience of giving the gift of a child to another human being as one of the most precious experiences of their lives. The moment in the hospital when the new parents first set eyes on their newborn baby is the moment that makes the entire process worthwhile – even beyond what the surrogate had imagined. The new parents are often speechless. All the anticipation and fears and doubts melt away. What a gift to be given and to receive.

Is surrogacy for you?

Lean into it. Start taking action and see what comes forward. There are many professional, experienced, and caring people out there willing to support you in making this decision

Comments

comments

Filed Under: Pregnancy

About JulieAllgood

Reader Interactions

Primary Sidebar

Tell a friend

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter
  • YouTube

Search

ModernMom Boutique

ModernMom TV

Featured

How to Save Your Kid from Drowning

The lifeguard moving quickly past Lindsey’s chair seemed to … [Read More...] about How to Save Your Kid from Drowning

Must Have

winter

Pre-Holiday Must-Haves

"It's beginning to look  a lot like Christmas..." The … [Read More...] about Pre-Holiday Must-Haves

Did you know?

Signs of Water Breaking in Pregnancy

Signs of Water Breaking in Pregnancy

How to Even Out a Spray Tan That Left White Spots

How to Even Out a Spray Tan That Left White Spots

Cook London Broil in an Electric Pressure Cooker

How to Cook London Broil in an Electric Pressure Cooker

What Can I Use as an Egg Substitute When Baking Corn Bread

What Can I Use as an Egg Substitute When Baking Corn Bread?

Early Signs of Pregnancy While on Birth Control

Early Signs of Pregnancy While on Birth Control

How Long to Bake a Pre-Cooked Frozen Casserole?

Remove the Lens From Plastic Frames

How to Remove the Lens From Plastic Frames

Footer

  • About Us
  • Contact ModernMom
  • Advertise With Us
  • Press
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of Use
  • Contributors

Copyright © 2021 Modern Mom. All Rights Reserved.

Reproduction of any portion of this website only at the express permission of Mom, Inc.

The information provided on ModernMom is for educational use only. It should not be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.