Mother’s Day is around the corner and it makes me think about the past two years. (Yes, I know my son Asher is only 10.5 months old, but I am including the pregnancy AND rounding up because I hate math.)

There have been many surprises along the way – some wonderful and some that left me headed for the nearest bottle of vodka.

1. Bedrest. Unfortunately, we had to go on bed rest at month 5 of the pregnancy until Asher arrived. The plus side? It forced me to relax and listen to my body. Asher arrived on time and not early! And I did not have to do any cleaning or cooking for 4 months. The hard part? Sitting still. It definitely tested my patience…and my husband’s!

2. They Don’t Sleep.While I knew this would happen, I did not really understand it. Sleeping only 2 – 3 hours at a time for multiple months definitely challenges your sanity, to say the least. As someone once told me, "there is a reason they use sleep deprivation as a torture device."

3. Everyone Has An Opinion. Not sure why this one surprised me, but it did. Opinions from everyone…from family, friends to strangers on the street! The last is my absolute favorite (insert sarcasm here). Different things STRANGERS stopped me to ask or say: “Are you sure he is dressed warmly enough?”; “Oh you should really not let him have a pacifier”; “If you hold him every time he cries, you will spoil him." (By the way – he was 3 weeks old when someone stopped to tell me this.) While most of the time I worked hard on biting my tongue, and was too tired to come up with a snappy response, I found tripping them as they walked away made me feel better. 🙂

4. The ‘Baby Weight’ Does Not Magically Disappear…Weird. I watched friends whose baby weight just disappeared after their baby arrived, but have now learned – they are just plain weird. This does not happen to everyone. Needless to say, I am no longer friends with those people.

5. Happy Blogs Can Be Your Worst Enemy. I love reading blogs but during the first several months of Asher being with us, I avoided what I have termed the “everything is perfect” blogs. “My baby sleeps through the night at 5 weeks.”; “Everything is perfect”. “My baby never cries”. Ok. Yes we all love our children no matter what, but COME ON! Motherhood is never perfect at every moment. Unless you drink heavily throughout the whole day…

6. They Actually Know and Love You! It is amazing the moment you realize they know who you are and love you. It makes 1 – 5 worth it all.

So how has motherhood changed me?

1. I now talk out loud even when my son is not with me.

2. I have to consciously make an effort not to speak “baby” to adults.

3. I may have forgotten how to have an adult conversation that is not about diapers, baby food or sleep.

4. I may be addicted to caffeine.

5. I have learned it is ok to not bounce back to your original body size and shape (Ok this is a lie. But I am trying!)

6. I learned I now have an excuse to walk out of the house with wrinkled or mismatched clothes. Before I was just sloppy or unfashionable. Now I am a “mom” and this seems to make it socially acceptable. Good thing I did not know this “trick” in high school 🙂

7. I really believe on my birthday, I should give my mom a present. 4 kids? What in the hell were they thinking???

In the end though, of course, I love my son with all my heart!!

P.S. Eran, if you are reading this – yes, you do need to buy me a mother’s day gift and flowers. Just in case you were not sure. And no, Mother’s Day does not mean mom spends the day alone with the baby. Good try, though 🙂