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A Modern-Day Cinderella Nightmare

May 26, 2011 by Leslie Morgan Steiner Leave a Comment

Twenty years ago, a dress changed my life. I was living a modern-day Cinderella nightmare. The villain: my physically abusive husband. Instead of worrying some prince would never rescue me, I agonized over how to leave my pseudo soulmate without dropping out of the MBA program I needed to secure a future free of bruises and erratic terror.

In the middle of this drama, a long-standing upper crusty friend took me to New York City.

Over lunch at Bergdorf Goodman, she gave me a pep talk (cue picture of Marine drill sergeant) on how to leave my husband.

Then she bought me a teal blue Ferragamo suit that cost five times my monthly rent.

Poof! Just like my own personal fairy godmother.

I’d never worn a designer outfit. I’d never even had a pair of designer pantyhose.

For months, I wore that dress to every job interview. By spring I had five offers with signing bonuses, guaranteeing me the money I needed to leave my husband when I graduated school.

For years afterwards I wore the Ferragamo for important dates and killer presentations. It made me feel strong enough to accomplish anything, including reinventing myself.

Fast forward to this morning.

While packing for a women’s leadership conference, I decided to pull out the Ferragamo ensemble. Ten years have passed since the last time I donned it. I’ve been married to another, decidedly nicer, husband for 15 years. I’ve had three babies and a 45th birthday and more dream jobs than I could have ever dreamed up.

Ladies, I couldn’t get the skirt over my thighs.

No problem, I told myself.

I’ll just wear the top with some slick black pants. I’ll update the Ferragamo with a modern mom look!

I couldn’t button the jacket over my chest.

When I looked in the mirror, I saw a frumpy stepsister trying to pass for 20 years younger.

I had OUTGROWN the Ferragamo.

To my shock, I didn’t moan and wail. Instead I laughed a little. I’m so old and wise, all I felt was a brush of sadness as I took off the jacket and looked at the label that used to inspire me.

I don’t need my magic suit anymore. Somewhere along the way, it lost its powers of enchantment. I guess I absorbed its fairy dust into my soul as I found my own strength and real happiness. It was another kind of shock to look in the mirror and realize THAT.

Think I’ll look for a deserving young Cinderella who needs a fairy godmother – and her own, gently used, enchanted dress.

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About Leslie Morgan Steiner

Leslie Morgan Steiner is the editor of the best-selling anthology Mommy Wars: Stay-at-Home and Career Moms Face Off on Their Choices, Their Lives, Their Families. Steiner regularly discusses working motherhood on the Today Show, MSNBC, and in Newsweek,Vanity Fair, Parents, The New York Times and The Los Angeles Times. Leslie lives with her three children a few blocks away from her Wasband in Washington, DC.

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