I am taking my life back, and I am going to get my groove back on. When life happens and things change, sometimes we put off doing the things that used to bring us joy simply because it seems daunting, challenging, and even a little sad to do it by ourselves.

When I was married, I used to love our Sunday night cookouts. I was so content and happy on those nights as I listened to the sounds of the kids playing outside and watched as my husband stood by the grill perfecting the meat. Those were the Norman Rockwell moments that I treasured so much when I was married, the moments that for some reason I thought I couldn’t create myself. The reason why I have felt that way is really silly. I am afraid and don’t know how to start a grill.

I am terrified I will burn my face off or blow up half the city if I try and use a gas grill and I am not real clear on what you even do to keep charcoal burning. I have decided enough of this silliness. Summer is here and it is time for me to face my fear, light up a grill and start creating those fun Sunday night cookouts myself! Sunday night, I told the kids we would grill steaks for dinner, with some mashed potatoes, corn, homemade biscuits and we would end the night by roasting some marshmallows for dessert. Darn it, we are going to be a Norman Rockwell painting!

We went to the store to pick out steaks, and I am still trying to figure out why there are so many different types. Shoulder steak, Bone- in steak, Skirt Steak, Strip Steak, London Broil, New York Steak. Thick steak, thin steak, big steaks and small fillets. TOO MANY CHOICES! I grabbed two that didn’t look too thick or too thin and didn’t cost me a month’s salary and took them home to get ready for the big cookout. I bought a little grill and a bag of charcoal and spent thirty minutes building a pyramid out of the charcoal just like the instructions said to do. Who on earth came up with the idea of it needing to be in the shape of a pyramid? The lighting of the charcoal was an experience as I figured out how much lighter fluid to use on my perfected pyramid. I am happy to say that I still have most of my eyebrows. After about twenty minutes the charcoal looked hot and we were ready to start grilling!

Everyone was happy. The girls were inside working on the biscuits and mashed potatoes and the little kids were playing on the swings. It was with great pride that I put the steaks on the grill. I smiled and found myself thinking, "I can do this! I do have my groove on!!!!" The flames shot up as the steaks were cooking. While I busy giving myself internal praise for having my groove on, I didn’t notice Finn running inside. Next thing I know, Finn races past me with a cup of water and promptly throws it on the steak and grill yelling “I put the fire out”. Smoke and ashes flew over the steak and into the sky. Once the smoke was gone, we noticed that our steaks were covered in ash. After a moment of stunned silence, Finn looks at me and proudly says, “See Mommy, I told you I am going to be a great fireman!” I will never forget the priceless belly laughs from his siblings that suddenly surrounded me.

We sat down to dinner that night with the greatest mashed potatoes, biscuits, corn, and ash-covered steak. It wasn’t exactly the Norman Rockwell picture perfect moment, but it was our perfect moment, and I do feel that this was a baby step to getting my groove back on. And I don’t intend to stop here and let fear get in my way. This week I tackled grilling, next week I plan to figure out how to start the lawn mower!!!