So, it is much easier to give advice on what NOT to say to people who are struggling to conceive (see previous blog, What Not To Say). The truth is, there isnt really a lot you can say to someone who is struggling with this difficult journey. Like with many hard things in life, there are no words to capture the sorrow, the pain, the loss and the heartache that this path brings. At any given moment, a caring supporters words can seem trite or meaningless, even with the best intentions.
When it comes to infertility, I have found that people just dont know what to say to those going through it. Then when they finally find the words, you kind of wish they hadnt. My husband and I have had many crazy things said to us throughout our journey. I realize these statements mostly come from those closest to us who are having trouble seeing us struggle. The crazy part is that the people who say these things come from a place of love and care (mostly- there are exceptions!). I think our family and friends are trying to be helpful, and to make it better. Listed below are ten unhelpful (and borderline hateful) things people usually say to those of us struggling with infertility. I personally have heard each and every one of these lines. I have also included what I wanted to respond with and what I actually said.
If you are hanging out on the Northeast Coast tonight, chances are you may be covered in at least a foot of snow! Here is a unique and delicious way to take advantage of the winter wonderland, while keeping your snowbound, snow bunnies entertained. Ingredients
The Holidays are a notoriously hard time for those who are grieving the loss of a loved one. For all of us women struggling with infertility, the Holidays are a time when we grieve the lost opportunity of a new life. What is more difficult is that many of the traditions and rituals of the Holidays are often centered around children.
I simply cannot believe my little preemie is about to enter her last year of preschool. Where did these past four years go? She started school in Pre-K 2, going a few hours a week. The Pre-K 4 kids had always looked so big to me. It was so hard to believe my baby would one day seem so big. It is amazing how much she has grown.
Last weekend my family and I went on a short vacation to the beach to unwind and relax. My third and final IVF is rapidly approaching, so it was very necessary for me to take the time to be in the present moment, enjoying the beauty of nature and all of the little treasures life has to offer. I was so happy to take a break from thinking about my infertility treatments, and I was actually able to remain stress free and unburdened during my whole time away. The morning we were to go back home, I sadly said goodbye to the ocean.
Every year I look forward to St. Patricks Day because of one thing: Irish soda bread. My grandma made it her whole life and passed down her recipe and her cast iron skillet to me before she died.
The other day, I dropped a cast iron skillet on my pinky toe. I was aware my daughter was in earshot, so I let out a long string of faux curses that I always say, Mother of goodnessholy bananas mother farger, that hurt!
My 15 year high school reunion is coming up and I have to admit that I am excited about it, for the most part.
My need for support and companionship during my struggle with infertility and endometriosis led me to join the online patient community and through my involvement in this community, I have met the strongest, most inspiring women.Some of them have since become my closest friends and confidants. A good many of them started struggling with infertility in their 20s. Years passed as they tried many treatments and suffered miscarriages. Some of them did receive …