Don’t Ask Me, “So, When Are You Having Kids?”
I am not sure how the question, When are you guys going to have kids? or When are you guys going to have another baby? became a casual, innocent question to ask. If I knew, I would turn back time to that moment and thwart any attempts to make those questions socially acceptable. As with many things in life, what appears innocent and friendly to some, is actually painful and hurtful to others. It is never okay to ask anyone those two questions or questions like those.
“So, when are you having kids?” Why that question should be illegal.
I am not sure how the question, When are you guys going to have kids? or When are you guys going to have another baby? became a casual, innocent question to ask. If I knew, I would turn back time to that moment and thwart any attempts to make those questions socially acceptable. As with many things in life, what appears innocent and friendly to some, is actually painful and hurtful to others. It is never okay to ask anyone those two questions or questions like those.
Faith, Fertility and Doogie Howser
I’m not sure if my husband and I ever could have imagined the lengths to which we would go in order to have a baby. But I am sure that it was shortly after our initial appointment with the fertility doctor that we knew our journey was going to be more complicated than we had originally planned. As I mentioned before (see Our Journey post), both my husband and I grew up devout Catholics. We had to rethink all we ever were told about morality and conception from our schooling, where things like IVF and embryo biopsies were not an option.
How I Survived Four Miscarriages…
I have always known that there was intense suffering and pain in this world. Throughout high school and college, a good part of my time was spent volunteering, which gave me the opportunity to sit and talk to people during their most difficult times. I have done outreach with the homeless population in New York City, assisted women who were dying in Calcutta, played with orphans in Tijuana and even counseled men with addictions who had been incarcerated on the Lower East Side of Manhattan. My whole life, I have felt a real responsibility to hear peoples stories as they navigate the most arduous terrains of their personal journeys. I always felt that listening to their stories made them feel less alone, and that it was the least I could do. Now, reflecting on some of the most painful parts of my own journey, I hope to reach out to people going through similar situations so that they feel less alone.
M is for Miscarriage
I have always known that there was intense suffering and pain in this world. Throughout high school and college, a good part of my time was spent volunteering, which gave me the opportunity to sit and talk to people during their most difficult times. I have done outreach with the homeless population in New York City, assisted women who were dying in Calcutta, played with orphans in Tijuana and even counseled men with addictions who had been incarcerated on the Lower East Side of Manhattan.