My neighbor recently accosted me outside my house, as I was getting my mail. I say neighbor because I don’t actually know her name. I only know her as Mustang Sally because, well, she drives a white Mustang, and I like the song. I’ve got both my boyfriend and his son singing it every time they see her car in the driveway.

In my continued struggle with boundaries and appropriate parenting, I found myself at dinner last night with my boyfriend, his daughter and her boyfriend – talking about bongs, sensimilla and one-hitters, oh my.

Guess who’s coming to dinner… and staying for a month?! If you guessed a dapper black man named Sidney Poitier, sadly, you would be wrong. The answer: my boyfriends 18 year-old daughter. Ahh!

I live in a small beach town in New Jersey and as my profile states, no, I do not know Snooki. I don’t lunch with any of the Housewives of New Jersey either. Although I’d love to be their personal Pilates instructor, so if anyone has an in, let me know.