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Conquering the Chaos of Divorce

July 21, 2011 by divorcedetox Leave a Comment

The majestic owl, known for his wisdom, sits high above the chaos perched on a branch watching the world as he soaks in what everyone else is to busy to notice. Divorce is chaotic, and it’s easy to get swept up in the day to day challenges. Life passes by, and many important moments get missed. Moving too fast leads to hasty decisions, poor choices and negative outcomes. Use the OWL acronym as a reminder of how to slow down during divorce:

OBSERVE

Observation is the ability to stop for a moment to watch what is happening. You can observe people, animals and even yourself. It requires a person to step out of auto-pilot and become aware in the moment. The process of observing forces you to slow down, pay attention and be present long enough to make sound decisions…an essential skill during divorce.

WAIT

Just like you can pause your DVD player to go get some more popcorn, you can also push the pause button on yourself. Pausing is a way to slow down when things become overwhelming. It’s as simple as putting a hand up, calling a time out or simply announcing that you need a moment. Pausing makes space for reflecting, which in turn prevents hasty, ineffective decision making, and negative interactions…something you want to avoid with divorce.

LISTEN

Hearing is not the same as listening. You hear all the time, but to truly listen you have to concentrate and focus your attention. Stopping to listen requires effort and patience. To listen well you need to stop what you are doing, focus on the person speaking, and concentrate on what is being said. When you truly listen you are much more available and open to others. You will also increase your chance of getting essential information that might ordinarily be missed…something that might be crucial to your divorce outcome.

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About divorcedetox

Allison Pescosolido, M.A. has helped thousands of men and women transform their lives through major life transitions. She is frequently featured in the media (New York Times, CNN, Fox...) for her expertise on the subjects of relationships, breakups, marriage, divorce, dating and her unique treatment approach for divorce recovery. Her success in helping clients quickly identify, manage and overcome the specific challenges in relationships and divorce has led her to become the nations leading relationship expert. Whether single, married or divorced, you have the opportunity to learn valuable skills to restart your life. Based in West Hollywood, California, Allison Pescosolido, M.A. offers relationship support (in person, by telephone and online) for anyone going through separation, divorce, a marriage crisis or relationship and dating issues. Allison Pescosolido, M.A. Allison has helped thousands of men and women transform their lives through major life transitions. It's never too late to restart your life. Find her at www.divorcedetox.com.

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